


Some stories ... do have a happy ending

by NBsan



Series: Some Stories [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Evil Byakuya, Fights, Happy Ending, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Touching, Overstimulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NBsan/pseuds/NBsan
Summary: For example when Byakuya makes a mistake fatal enough to put him onto Isshins blacklist and which might be the end of his supremacy.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji/Kurosaki Ichigo
Series: Some Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791631
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Manche Geschichten ... haben eben doch ein gutes Ende](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531921) by [NBsan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NBsan/pseuds/NBsan). 



It’s early August when Renji is ordered back into the Soul Society. Indefinitely. It bothered him because he liked his time in the human world and more so he missed Ichigo.

He also missed his little apartment and hunting Hollows because it wasn’t that hard work and sometimes a day passed without one of those monsters appearing at all.

It bothered him double that it happened during Ichigos summer vacation, a time that they could’ve spent together. Weeks on end, together with his boyfriend.

So it wasn’t that surprising that Renjis thoughts were with his friend for most of the day, that he was wide awake during night time and assaulted his smuggled in cell phone to write encoded messages to Ichigo (and to hope that the technology apartment was unable to decode them). He didn’t dare that too often since he didn’t want the twelfth division on his trail.

Especially in the beginning he jerked off a lot but that only reminded him of Ichigo (and his absence) and so he kinda stopped after a while as to not have to deal with his thoughts and feelings.

Surprisingly it took two weeks until happened what he feared off since returning to the Soul Society.

Byakuya had tried again to have sex with him. _Of course_ he knew that this would happen. And _of course_ he hadn’t planned to submit this time.

Even though he played sceneries like this a dozen times in his head it was only thanks to Rikichi that day that he was able to get away.

Byakuya wasn’t even able to come up with one single word. He didn’t had to either. Renji already knew every single indication for Byakuya wanting sex. The widened pupils that weren’t spreading as much coldness as usually. The especially straight walk, as if he had to show his dominance over the physically bigger Renji. The way his gaze wandered over Renjis body smugly as if taking off his clothes like this.

Renjis mouth turned dry already and his gaze submissive because he was afraid to bring up contradiction while talking to the noble man. The few times that he did it - voluntarily or not - brought him either close to death or in an even worse position.

He still felt disgust and an ice cold shudder running down his back when thinking about the unwanted guest in form of Sukebe Kotsu who walked in on them last year.

That happened before he went to the human world for the first time and the whole ordeal with Aizen happened so he didn’t have had the time to think it over that much and just when he started to think when he saw Kotsu for the last time two months later, he found out that he was transferred to another division.

That probably was Byakuyas way to get rid of problems. At least in this case he was kinda glad about the initiative of the dark haired one (but whom exactly did Kotsu talk to about what he saw? As far as he knew nobody knew. Nobody talked about it. Nobody gave him lewd looks or giggled when he appeared). Maybe he had luck and Kotsu didn’t talk about anything at all.

The guy wasn’t that talkative.

Anyways, Byakuya came closer and closer while his own steps became shorter and slower.

Then Rikichi stormed around the corner and talked about an attack of some Ryoka troop (that could easily be a whole Ryoka _militia_ from the size alone) and Renji has never been that relieved about an attack.

He was able to see the hint of disappointment in Byakuyas grey eyes before running past him, a wide grin on his face. For the rest of the day he was busy enough that he wasn’t able to think about Byakuyas newest approach and when he fell into his bed late at evening, dead tired, he successfully repressed all thoughts about it - until the next day at least.

He got up especially early, hoping to finish his report before his captain showed up at all. He never before wrote down the words so fast because even though he was both a good reader and writer he learned both as recently as during his training at the academy - and up to this day he sometimes still mistook a kanji for another one and then he had to write that part all over again or only a foul-mouthed word came to his mind and he had to search the deep parts of his brain until he found something that didn’t let the Kuchikis eyebrows wander up his forehead.

At this morning he made surprisingly little mistakes and still he was only halfway through before Byakuya showed up - apart from his usual habit - shortly after sunrise, holding a cup of tea in his hand and giving Renji as much attention as a fly on the wall.

"Good morning Taichou." Renji forced himself to some courtesy even though his heartbeat quickened and his spirit sunk. The almost-order for sex on the earlier day was way too vivid in his memory.

A good hour passed without anything happening at all. He kept working on his report while Byakuya wrote something of his own while looking through several opened reports.

From time to time someone knocked at the door and when Byakuya told the waiting shinigami to "Come in" they got another report from another division or it was somebody from the sixth division reporting on the Ryoka-situation.

Renji was usually annoyed by many visitors - today he was happy about them since Byakuya wouldn’t be able to have sex with him like this.

Hopefully. He already found out firsthand that it wasn’t always like this.

Finally he made it to the end of his report and read it over quickly, looking for pronouncing- or any other mistakes and checked it he didn’t forget about anything in his haste to finish up.

He breathed out, relieved. Just a few more moments and he was gone. It didn’t bother him anymore to get signed up for that many missions.

He got up to give his report to Byakuya but the others gaze and his voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Do you have anything planned for the day, Abarai?" he was asked while the others eyes were already unclothing him. It could only be a few more moments before the fitting order would come, Byakuya never took of Renjis clothes by himself.

"Yes!" he answered hurriedly, a bit too loud, his voice high and panicked even though the question was obviously rhetorical.

Holding his report between shaking fingers he stood in the middle of the room, insecure.

He could’ve guessed that much, but the Kuchiki obviously didn’t like his answer. He recognized it in the way the facial expression of his captain froze, equal to Rukia lifting her eyebrows or Ichigo scowling. (Well, that might’ve been a bad example. Ichigo was usually scowling.)

He bit his tongue, already expecting to get a Kidou thrown at him to bind him against the table or the wall by force.

Nothing like that happened though. Byakuya leaned back in his chair while looking at him measuring.

"Lately you are quite often in the human world. You even wrote yourself up for this abroad mission even though your place to be as a lieutenant is _here_ in the Soul Society." Byakuya started to talk matter of factly but the more he talked the more Renji became afraid that his superior knew _exactly_ of what happened during the last few months of his life and that he was having fun to humiliate him and to call down on him.

"By chance that mission was in Karakura. I am surprised how implausibly well you like this town."

Renji was still keeping quiet, gaze on the floor. "And now I can’t help but notice how distant you are towards me since you came back. And just now I got the feeling that you _turned down sexual interaction with me_. Is there anything you want to say for your defense?"

Renji swallowed hard while a drop of sweat ran down his temple. His mouth was awfully dry and his heart was beating against his rib cage so violently as if it would try to break out and run away, something that his feet were unable to do right now.

What was he supposed to say anyways? That he and Ichigo were a thing? That he wasn’t interested in Byakuya? He wasn’t going to drag his boyfriend into this and with the other answer he would get himself into trouble.

He was still thinking about how to get out and away from this situation when Byakuya stood up abruptly.

"You’re in a _relationship_ with the Ryoka, are you not? Kurosaki. And don’t you dare lie to me." Renji wasn’t saying anything, he just kept staring to the ground at his feet. His face turned a deadly white and when Byakuya took a step towards him he hurriedly took same step backwards.

The smaller mans pace was vigorous, the look from his eyes lurking and angry. He closed in to Renji until arms length.

"You turn away from me - for this child?" He put a finger underneath of Renjis chin before pushing away his head, clearly angered.

"Do you like the way he looks up at you? That you are superior to him?"

Harshly the noble one grabbed Renjis dick through his hakama and ripped Renji out of his rigidity.

"Do not touch me!" he answered, his voice a bit too high maybe, but firm and he got out of the others grip before storming out of the room, ignoring any sort of etiquette. He was able to feel Byakuyas enraged gaze at the back of his head.

In the next few days he made a quite good job with getting out of Byakuyas way, mainly due to the Ryoka militia that kept him and the rest of division six busy.

Day and night they were running from one district to the next to keep watch on several areas and to fight back the rebels.

One day he got attacked after a long day, from behind, like a coward and the man managed to push his sickle into his chest and down to his ribs before he was able to fight him off. A member of the fourth division treated him makeshiftly before he was sent back to cure the wound that maybe wasn’t life threatening anymore but made him hors de combat.

He spent a day on his futon while sometimes a member of the fourth came by to change the bandage or to bring him food.

In the morning of the next day the message reached him that he was supposed to report about the happenings in the risk areas since he spent most of his time there and knew most about the enemies tactics. According to a few rather short field reports the militia would be fought down soon enough but Renji was afraid that his coverage might end up unpleasantly.

He was a bit shaky when he got up to put on some clothes and his forehead a tad too warm to be completely healed, his gaze unfocused for a moment and the wound - that would be nothing but a scar soon enough thanks to the fourth division - throbbed painfully.

It got better when he was out in the open air, walking towards the sixths divisions headquarters but the thought that he had to be in one room with Byakuya, alone, caused him nausea. He was incredibly relieved about the fact that he was sent directly to the bureau of the first division to get his report to the high ranked guys after he set but one foot inside of the sixth division.

He had to stop walking quite a few times when he went up the stairs but when he was finally all the way up, wiping the sweat from his forehead, he was glad about the way. Everything was better than being alone with his captain.

He asked for entrance and when it was granted he had to find out that it wasn’t only the commander he had to report to today.

Kyouraku was there, dressed in his usual floral kimono above the captains gear and Juushirou, both former subordinates of the commander.

But his gaze stopped at Byakuya who was standing next to them. He looked rather small and insignificant next to those powerful men - still, Renji nearly forgot why he came here for at all.

It was only when Yamamoto cleared his throat that he flinched before bowing deep down. Then he started to talk about the events of the last days, first a bit hesitating before his voice became more firm.

His voice was raw and he stopped when a strong waft of weakness overcame him.

For a moment the world was far, far away and he didn’t even notice that Byakuya called for a servant of his and made the man get something to drink for him.

It was only when a cup was pressed into Renjis hand and after he took a long swig from the drink (was it tea? He wasn’t sure, only that he never drank something like this in his whole life and that he probably won’t ever again as long as he didn’t make up with Byakuya) that he felt a bit better. He excused himself but nobody seemed to put it against him, not even the high commander himself.

It might have some good sides to be injured. Not too many, he had to admit, but some.

He continued with his report after the same servant took away the cup and got away.

The minutes passed. The drink seemed to have helped. He felt stronger and the abnormal weakness had left him completely.

He was in this condition for a while longer before the weakness came back. Or at least that’s what he thought first.

His voice grew awfully hoarse and his skin seemed to tingle, to burn and he started to shake all over, first imperceptible and then violently.

He didn’t get what was going on with him. He wasn’t even feeling that bad when he got the dangerous cut on the battlefield. He was burning like he was sporting a fever and embarrassed he realized that something twitched in his crotch.

A drop of sweat ran down his forehead and he tried to think about what was wrong with him but his thoughts were awfully slow and he only recognized a little while later that he stopped to talk mid-sentence.

Byakuyas cool voice ripped him out of the delirium he was in.

"It looks like he has gotten worse. If you wouldn’t mind, Yamamoto-sama, I would make sure that he is getting back into bed."

He didn’t hear the answer but an arm wrapped around his waist to hold him up. A good thing. When he was dragged along the older one he realized that his knees were shaking too bad to move them on his own.

His breath was way too loud in his own ears and he closed his eyes, overwhelmed.

It was way too hot. His dick was so stiff it hurt badly and Byakuyas body so close to his own made waves of heat shoot through his own and he was gasping in arousal.

’Shit.’ he was thinking sluggishly and he was glad that they were already away from the first divisions head quarters. Still it took as long as they got back to their own division that he realized that there must have been something in his drink.

The drink that Byakuya ordered for him.

This last realization hit him just when Byakuya closed the door to their office. Didn’t he say something about making sure that he gets into bed?

A whimper made it past his lips and even though his every movement was sluggish he pushed the Kuchiki aside - not that clever since a moment later he sagged down onto his hands and knees where he got himself into fetus position and pressed his hand against his aching dick. He felt it loose pre-cum under his touch and a pained sob escaped him.

Byakuya must have gotten up in that time. Renji felt pulled back harshly and his big body, which wasn’t putting up any resistance right now, fell to the side before he was turned onto his back.

His kimono had moved at some point in the last few minutes and he felt hands on his naked chest. A shudder ran through his body.

A needy moan escaped his throat, a sound that he didn’t knew he could make and his hips twitched into thin air.

A cold hand was put onto his sweaty cheek but only to move his head to the other side until he was gazing into Byakuyas blurred face.

"You are incredibly ungrateful, _Renji_." he was able to hear the nobles deep voice. "And after all that I have done for you and your friends. And back then I even put an illusion over you when the sixth seat ran into us before I transferred him."

Renji was barely able to register any of the others words. He was feeling too hot, every fiber of his body was screaming for _sex_ , for a _touch_ and his hips were thrusting into thin air again in a silent plea.

"And now look at yourself!" A hand moved underneath his chin and pulled it back so that his bare, tense neck was exposed. One was able to see his sinews underneath the skin overly clear and when one would take a closer look even the thumping of his pulse.

Cool fingers moved down a bit and tightened their hold. Not much. Only a bit - but more than enough for Renjis current state.

Uncoordinated he tried to grab for the hand cutting off his air but at the same time he felt his cock drip.

"Please…" he was croaking. "Don’t…" He was shocked by the way his voice sounded, whiny and full of lust.

"Oh Renji, you should not fight it. It will only get worse with time. That is why I am here now. To make it better."

The hand that just crushed his wind pipe a moment ago moved across his barely covered torso (which made him gasp a few times) until it came to a halt on his covered dick.

With a scream his hips were thrusting up.

He wanted to cum. He had to, really badly had to!

A sob made its way past his lips when Byakuya moved him onto his stomach with more power than one would think of him.

He hated himself and his treacherous body for his behavior but the surprising change of position made him awfully dizzy first and gifted him with a moment clarity afterwards and before he could think about the consequences or if he was physically able to right now - or ever - he wiped around and rammed the halfway standing Kuchiki a heavy knee into his side. The older man fell, surprised and hit his head against Renjis desk.

In this moment Renji didn’t knew how lucky he just had been since his brain was overtaxed with one thought alone: Escape.

And while another part of him was thinking where he should flee to, only one place came to mind.

Ichigo.

With an incredible amount of effort he got himself onto his legs, holding on to the edge of his desk like his life depended on it and trampling over the still unconscious Byakuya towards the door. He needed his zanpakuto - then he was able to open a gate to the human world.


	2. Chapter 2

I’m never bored during summer vacation.

I always find something to occupy myself with, may it be with my friends or my siblings. Sometimes I even learn stuff for school. Read something. Listen to music.

But this summer I can’t find enthusiasm for anything. Renji is missing everywhere.

This time his departure was less creepy than the last time, back then, before my birthday.

He even got an official looking writing that told him that he had to be back within twenty-four hours and we spent each and every of this twenty-four hours together.

Well, it was… weird indeed. Renji was edgy and I was glumly.

Now it’s nearly a month ago that he went back and even though he used his human world-cell phone in the beginning to write me from time to time (using a code that he wrote down on a piece of paper) those messages became less and less and since a week I haven’t heard anything at all from him.

I don’t think that Renji would start something with Byakuya on his own - but a part of me asks myself: What if he gets forced? Is Renji strong enough, physically strong enough, to tell Byakuya off? Even I only managed a draw against him and I am - was - so much stronger than Renji.

Right now I’m on my way to his apartment. I like it there.

I’m even cleaning up in the hope that Renji comes back soon and then he should have a nice and neat place to live in.

Now, at the end of August it’s not as hot anymore, not even now during late Midday and I’m not sweating when I jog down the streets in short pants and a T-Shirt towards Renjis place.

It’s a few days since I’ve been there now and even though a part of me cringes at the thought of being alone at his place the rest of me is looking forward to it.

It’s like a little ritual.

I unlock the door to his apartment and shout my usual "I’m back." into the empty rooms before getting out of my shoes and then to work.

Everything is still the way I left it, only a thin layer of dust made it back inside.

I open the window in Renjis room and the shutters, plug in the little radio that I brought two weeks ago and turn up the music. Without it’s way too quiet and lonely.

I’m sweeping the floor in Renjis room right now (I closed the window again after a wasp flew in and then, only a little while later, a bird wanted to come in too) when a dull noise at the apartment door makes me cringe. Must have been rather loud since the walls are quite soundproof.

I put the broom against the wall and turn off the radio while my first thought is _'Burglar!'_.

Sure Ichigo, during daylight. Apart from that, there’s nothing here that has any value. Well, it’s not like Mr. Burglar would know.

I roll my eyes and want to grab for the broom again as I can hear something like a scratching in the keyhole and sneak into the hallway. The only other keys belong to Renji and the owner of the house and as far as I know that dude has never been here before. At least not since Renji lives here. Maybe it’s not a key but a lock pick or something like that.

Ichigo, you sure are turning paranoid.

I turn back anyways to get the broom. The thing is neither big nor heavy but it would definitely surprise Mr. Burglar when I hit him over the head with it.

The door opens and then Renji is standing in front of me. I guess. A moment later I’m not so sure anymore and then again it’s somehow Renji and somehow not.

One might think that his red hair is unmistakable. Well, it is. But his face, the look in his eyes, is a mixture of drained (like in the meaning of totally done) and aroused (and that in a way that I have never ever seen before on him). His eyes are close to pitch black and tears run down his cheek without him even realizing it, his face is burning and underneath it his skin is white as chalk.

He’s shaking so violently that I’m wondering how he got the key into the keyhole at all and now that the door is open he's swaying to and fro.

I let go of the broom in my surprise to see him. "R-Renji!" I squeeze out before he starts to fall.

Just like this I stretch out my arms towards him and press my hands against his shoulders to keep him in a somewhat vertical position.

His own hands run to my own shoulders in shaky movements and I let go of his shoulders to wrap my arms around him and let him stumble inside.

I haven’t even closed the door before his sweating hands grip me tighter and he begs with a raw, breaking voice: "Please, fuck me!"

Well, that was clear. And unusual. I don’t know him like _this_.

It’s obvious that he is not well and I really doubt that I should have sex with him now. "J-Just come in first." I tell him, overwhelmed, finally close the door and get to the task of getting his heavy body into his room and to the bed. Lying down and propping up his legs and then he should be better soon. Hopefully.

He shouldn’t have gone anywhere in his condition.

I get him to his bed circuitously but when I want to lie him down onto it he pulls me down with him.

I can feel how he starts to rub his crotch in hasty movements against my upper thigh and the sounds he is making are animalistic and pressed as if he is way too loud for way too long without being able to hold himself back.

His arms wrap tighter around my upper body and even though I should be there for him and take care of him I can feel myself grow hard.

Damn.

His face. His words. His moans. His hot body so close to mine. His smell. He _smells_ of sex, a heavy odor that makes me dizzy.

I can feel myself become weaker and my resistance crumble. Spontaneously I hide my face in his neck and grab his hips.

I became stronger in the last few weeks in which he has been away, I trained, not in public but at home, in my room.

I’m still slim but more muscular than before, like back then in my shinigami-days.

Maybe it’s his condition but I’m surprised nevertheless when I’m able to press back his hips without too much effort. The whimper that leaves him nearly rips me apart but I need a moment to find back to myself and to break the spell that Renji put onto me unconsciously. I have to get my thoughts straight and to think what I should do with him now.

I press my knee into his loin from the side. His T-Shirt moved up a bit and the contact from my naked knee against his feverly-hot skin alone makes him moan hoarsely, his hips twitch into my direction pleadingly but I stay hard (in more than one way).

I grab a handful of his hair and ask him. "What’s going on with you?" His lips move while he looks up at me with glazed over eyes but no sound - well, no _word_ \- leaves his throat. "Did something happen in the Soul Society? Were you allowed to come back here? Why..." I swallow. "Why are you… like _this_?" I hum and haw since I’m missing words for his condition.

Again his lips move and I lean down with my ear. "Bya…kuya." he whispers heavily before his breath quickens all of a sudden. The fear creeps up in me that he is hyperventilating but his breath already calms down a bit again. Not much. But enough for him to keep talking.

"Tea… Put… something in…side…" A moan breaks through the silence that makes my hardness twitch violently.

I swallow.

When I got it right - and when Renji is even in any condition to tell me what actually happened - Byakuya drugged him up. Something like… an aphrodisiac. Just different. Aphrodisiacs increase lust (hello Wikipedia) but they don’t do… this.

"H-How can I help you?" I ask him through clenched teeth and Renji presses my upper body against his own all of a sudden (the moan escaping him is filled with pain is if I hurt him with it) and then he whispers hoarsely: "Just fuck me, please, _please_."

I have to close my eyes as to not cum on the spot. It’s awfully morbid and it’s awful what Byakuya did (and intended to do) but the way he is right now makes me impossibly hot.

"Okay." I try to calm him down. "Okay." I run my hands over his burning cheeks and try to wipe some sweat from his forehead but he doesn’t calm down, his breath just becomes quicker again and the gaze he throws at me is abyss-deep desperate.

Who knows for how long he has been like this. Or what he has tried himself to make it better.

Gentle and fast and methodical at the same time I get him out of his clothes, first his pants and underwear that I pull down to his ankles where I have to take his shoes off first before I can take off the rest.

My gaze falls onto his cock that has pre-cum streaming out of its tip continuously, whose glans is an angry red and that points straight to the heavens.

It looks like every touch is going to hurt, like devilish lust or something like that.

I ignore his misery for now and take off his shirt instead.

For a moment I halt, startled when I see the long injury that runs from the middle of his chest, starting only a bit beneath his collar bone down to his right side ribs in an inaccurate, uneven line.

I’m afraid that it was Byakuya that caused that injury before I realize that it’s a bit too old for that and has been treated already. Another week or two under the fourths healing and it would have been nothing but a scar but the way it is now it glows in a fiery red and is still covered in crust.

No stitches. Such _human_ things are nothing that shinigami need. Like this I’m afraid that his wound might open up when we get too wild though. I bite my tongue.

I should have more trust into the fourth division. Hanatarou really did work some miracles back then.

Renjis whole body is wreathing on the bed as if the touch of the blanket alone was too much, as if the simplest touch would bring him to orgasm.

Gingerly I bend over and press a kiss to his left nipple, the one the furthest away from the injury. A drawn out "Haaah!" can be heard and when I start to suck at it lightly a whole bunch of short "Hah!"s follow.

"Oh shit, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" he begs me in a slurred voice before he begins to sob.

I let go of him for a moment. "Can’t do that." I try to explain to him. "Look at you. You go crazy with a simple touch like that! I’m going to kill you with overstimulation! You… you have to cum first. To get rid of some of the tension." He shakes his head violently. "Can’t!" he squeezes through clenched teeth. "Tried… Won’t work."

"Come on, I’ll help you. You can do it." I try to talk some bravery into him just like he has done it back then to me.

He sobs one more time, this time frustrated. His eyes are halfway closed. He seems to be dizzy if the way he holds his head is any indication.

"Kiss me, shinigami." I whisper close to his lips so that he doesn’t have to exhaust himself even more by trying to get to me.

He doesn’t look too happy by it but he obliges while his hands twitch and his hips. Desperate sounds get swallowed by my own mouth. "I’m right here." I promise him since things like _I love you_ or _All is going to be alright_ won’t be anything that he would like to hear right now.

I can’t even imagine the agony he must be in but I strangle his shout with my lips skillfully while I wrap both of my hands around his painfully erected dick. I just hold on to him, not moving them for a moment.

Renjis whole body twitches.

I’m not too sure if I hurt him but if I do I’m not surprised that Renji himself was incapable of touching himself and wasn't able to come to orgasm either.

I just changed that. I can feel hot and wet cum run down my hands. The arms that Renji has wrapped around my back nearly crush me while I do my best not do lie down onto his injury.

The stream of semen doesn’t want to stop first before it abruptly does. His cock didn’t loose any of its hardness in those long seconds though.

A bit overwhelmed I let go of him to clean my hands on the blanket and he takes this moment of freedom to wrap his calves in a crushing embrace around my hips and to press me against him.

The worst pressure seems to have vanished - at least something.

"Fuck me, now!" he starts again and I grab for the drawer of the night table to get the lube out, defeated.

He just shakes his head violently. "Fuck it. Leave it be. Just take me like this, now, right away, _please_!"

I shake my head as well. "No." I tell him in a firm voice. _I_ wouldn’t dare to be underneath him without any preparation and we have sex _all the time_. Sex in which _I’m_ the one getting it up my ass, not him. He isn’t used to it anymore. One step after the other.

Apart from that he is way too tense as that I’d be able to get far anyways.

Renji starts to sweat violently but he doesn’t look angry, just awfully aroused and desperate because of it.

I try to ignore the tears running down his cheeks and towards his ears as I unwrap his arms from me with force to get to the drawer at last.

At least I manage to grab the lube before Renji pulls me down again.

Hastily I press a kiss onto his lips before squeezing a generous amount of lube onto my fingers.

When I put them to his entrance I can feel that I was right. He is incredibly tense. Impossible for me to put in as much as my little finger.

'Patience.' I tell myself and start to massage his entrance and spread the lube down there.

My T-Shirt moved by now (no surprise actually, not with the way Renji is clawing at me) and I can feel how some of his semen hits my stomach.

I don’t give up and finally, _finally_ , I can feel how the first digit of my index finger slides into him.

His eye lids flutter and his mouth opens to a quiet, happy moan.

"More!" he whispers flatly and even though his muscles nearly squeeze it to death I let my finger circle inside of him and can feel how it gets drawn deeper into the warm cave bit by bit.

My own mouth hangs open. Wouldn’t that situation be as serious and creepy as it is I would love his submissive core right now (and I’d so totally exploit it).

But as it is I just move my finger slowly and when it seems half a lifetime later that he can take more I push my index- and middle finger above each other so tightly that it doesn’t feel like two fingers anymore but like only one (that’s very big and very fat).

Renji barely seems to recognize it - at least when it comes to pain or uneasiness. His fingernails leave painful scratches on my neck and my upper arm and the whimper that can be heard from him lets my dick twitch.

Gently I thrust my fingers into him, small, pumping movements without hitting his prostate.

The first orgasm took a big part of his frustration and desperation away and even though he still seems far away due to his arousal he also seems to enjoy my touches, pulls me closer with shaky movements of his own to run his hands over my still fully clothed body.

His fingertips are burning on my skin and from time to time I have to halt and blink to get my head straight again and to concentrate on the task at hand.

A minute longer I let my fingers move inside of him, widen them in a scissoring motion and squeeze some more lube onto the point where my fingers meet his body but the tension flew out of his body and he begs for more, first with nothing but his body, the way in which he moves down and against my fingers and in the way he runs his hands over my body and then he begs with words.

I’m still not sure if I got him prepped enough (or if it’s actually a possibility to prep him _enough_ in his state) so I pull back my fingers and get out of my clothes in a hurry.

His breath catches in his throat and his hands are back on me again, run over my chest and my abs. I stop him when he tries to grab my erection. I would come way too fast.

Instead I lock our fingers, press his hands into the pillow next to his head and kiss him.

He returns it greedily and when I let my hips sink onto his he starts to rub against me immediately. I let him choose the rhythm and just follow his movements until I can feel that I’m close to orgasm myself.

Renji may be able to keep it up for a while longer - forced or not - but I’m made out of human material (and not on drugs).

So I let go of his hands, lift my hips away from his and grab for the lube to coat my cock with it.

Hungrily Renji looks me up and down, his eyes still somewhat cloudy but not as much as in the beginning.

My gaze wanders to his erection, still covered in his semen and I just bend down to lick it off before stopping at the last moment - not because I’m afraid to give Renji the overkill (I guess he would take it well enough. Maybe he would cum again but that’s the whole point of this ordeal). No, I’m afraid that I’ll end up in the same condition. Who knows what Byakuya gave him and who knows what happens if I get it into my blood stream.

Paranoid maybe - but maybe clever.

So I just bend forward to press his legs apart further and put my lubed up erection to his entrance.

His legs are shaking violently and when the head of my cock breaches him his eyes roll back and his hips twitch violently into my direction.

I halt again. For once I’m not that used (anymore) to be on top during sex. Not only has Renji been away for a month, before that I was on the receiving end most of the time (means: underneath him). I know that he doesn’t mind to be the bottom. He enjoys it in the same way that I do. Maybe he thinks he has to prove something to me or that he has to take care of me because I’m so much younger and less experienced.

But more important: Now it’s me who has to take care of him as for him not to die because of heart failure (is a gigai able to do that? Or - when we’re talking about it - a _soul_?) or because he breathes himself to death or something like that.

He seems to have fallen into bliss completely and if the muscles inside his ass wouldn’t martyr me like this, wouldn’t hold onto me so hard that it hurts I would feel just the same. But no, I have to stay in control. For Renji.

Gingerly I try to move, let my hips circle carefully but it’s only when I grab his legs and press his knees towards his chest in an urge of experimenting that he loosens up abruptly and I move a few inch deeper into him.

"Fuck, Ichigo." he whines, one hand clawing at the pillow underneath him, the other wrapped tightly around one of the iron bars of his bed.

"Am I hurting you?" I ask him, a bit out of breath, but I have to be sure. He shakes his head violently so that his red hair flies. Carefully I inch closer towards him and my erection moves deeper inside of him. "Do you like it?" "Hmmmmmm!" he agrees while nodding, more a moan than an actual word and I breathe out in relief before I press his legs harder against his chest, making sure not to put too much weight onto his nearly healed wound. 

I lean closer with my upper body so that I’m lying a bit on his calves and the change of position makes it easier to move.

I start slow nevertheless, just a bit in and out, a few inches only. Renjis cock is loosing pre-cum again and when his gasps turn to drawn out moans I reach back further to ram my cock into him as hard as I can.

Three thrusts later I hit his prostrate and he cums again with a hoarse scream.

I’m just thinking if I should pull out (I know how incredibly oversensitive I am after an orgasm) but he just presses against me again, not very actively since he is doubled over but I understand and continue to take him.

His eye brows knit together, first in discomfort, then in concentration and then again in pure ecstasy and with a short gaze between his legs I can tell that he’s still hard.

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. What if I cum and he’s still hard? I’ve got less stamina than him under normal conditions and now ten times not enough.

But one step after another.

Even though I can feel that I get close to my limit I continue my thrusts into him, in and out, in and out, listen to his aroused pants, the deep moans and the occasional scream when I hit his point of lust just right.

Renji is incredibly quiet when it comes to words. I would love to hear him talk like he usually does, how hot I am and how I turn him on and all of that. First it was embarrassing but I guess I got used to it by now and it’s somehow his way of showing his affection towards me.

As it is I’m just taking in the way he looks, his reddened face that isn’t all that white anymore underneath his burning cheeks, his closed eyes that open from time to time under an especially hard or well aimed thrust of mine and let me have a good look at his wonderful dark eyes. My gaze wanders deeper, to his wet, open lips. They are not red enough and I would love to kiss them - not now.

Then Renjis strong legs block my gaze to his upper body but I can still see his strong shoulders and his tattoos that are visible on his bright skin.

Again a shaky exhale, a dark groan, his eye lids flutter. He is beautiful like this. But I can feel how my testicles contract. I’m nearly there.

Quickly I move my hand between his legs to bring him to orgasm for a third time.

When he doesn’t talk then it looks like I have to. I bend down to him and whisper into his ear: "Are you getting there again already? Are you going to cum? Did you even look at yourself in the last half an hour? How much cum you loose? You could impregnate half of Japan like this!"

He could _impregnate half of Japan_?! Wow, I really should stop the dirty talking.

Renji doesn’t think of it as too bad though (or he only heard my voice, not my words. That would be the more logical way) because he cums again with a howl, I can feel it in the way the muscles in his ass clamp down on me, how he throws back his head and how he bares his teeth. One thing is missing though: His sperm. Looks like he’s drained already.

A good thing happens now - I can feel his penis loose in size inside my hand.

Renji sobs quietly, looks like he is just as happy about that fact as I am (might sound weird that I’m happy that he’s not hard anymore but even though Renjis state got me hot and aroused I prefer _normal_ sex with him (even though our sex can rarely ever be called _normal_ )).

I pull out of him quickly. _Now_ he’d be overly sensitive. Instead I let my fist run up and down my own cock. I was too close to orgasm before and the way Renji looks takes me over the cliff in a hurry.

I don’t have any scruples to cum all over him. He is dirty enough as he is, my seed doesn’t make any difference now.

His legs sag back to the bed and his chest heaves like he was racing. My gaze lingers on his injury. Right underneath his chest it actually gapes open a bit and a thin trickle of blood runs over his stomach.

I scowl at it, worried, but it doesn’t look like he’s going to die of it any second now and so I lie down next to him (onto his left side, where he isn’t hurt) and wrap my right arm around his neck and pull his head against my shoulder with my left in a way that keeps him lying on his back so that his wound doesn’t rip open even more.

I bury my face in his hair. It smells a bit after whatever drug Byakuya gave him and a real, real lot of sex and underneath all of that - if I concentrate on it - after Renji.

We stay silent for a few minutes and think of nothing but come down from our sex.

Worried my gaze wanders to his crotch again and again when I realize that he is _still_ half hard but I’m now realizing that the rest of his arousal or the drug or _whatever_ disappears more and more.

I get my breath back faster than he does but stay close to him nevertheless and run my hands gently through his hair or across his cheek, press soft kisses into his hair and onto his forehead.

He looks incredibly tired and (I’m sorry for this choice of word, Renji!) weak. His lips move lightly against my throat. First I think he’s trying to say something before I realize that he presses tired kisses onto my neck in the try to return my loving caresses.

I inch down until we’re eye to eye and nose tip to nose tip, both hands on his cheeks.

I’m not sure yet what I want to say and so I stay silent. Renji just looks at me, pupils not as wide anymore and his gaze not so far away. He looks a bit like he’s confused by the fact that he’s here but enjoying it at the same time.

"Ichigo?" he asks me in a hoarse voice. I nod and run my thumb over his cheek. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, a thin smile on his lips.

"I… hoped that it was you but I wasn’t sure. I was so… dizzy and everything was so unreal. I already feared that…" He stops mid-sentence and I wait patiently. He shrugs slightly. "Well, that you are Byakuya who throws illusions onto me or something."

My gaze becomes hard as steel. Not because of what Renji thought but because I actually believe that Byakuya would do something like that.

I’m going to kill him. I’ll find a way into the Soul Society and then I’m going to kill him. But later, not now. Now it’s all about Renji.

"He’s going to pay for it. Fuck him being nobility. And a captain. Fuck it." I repeat.

My gaze gets softer and I lean forward to kiss him.

He returns it, clearly exhausted, eyes closed and one hand on my chest as if he has to feel that I’m there, that my heart beats and that my body is warm.

In the end it’s him who breaks the kiss first, who pulls his head back and watches my face as if he couldn’t believe that he's here.

I have to admit, it’s all new to me as well.

And now it’s time for me to take care of him. With the words "Be right back." I get up, press a kiss to his forehead and leave the exhausted Renji to get a glass of water in the kitchen and then a cloth, covered in warm water from the bathroom.

Last but not least I also take the first aid kit with me that we have in the bathroom for the unlikely case that Renji gets hurt while hunting a Hollow. That never happened up to now luckily but now the thing is going to be of good use.

Packed like that I get back into the room where Renji gifts me with a strained smile.

Carefully I run the cloth over his sweaty face and he closes his eyes, grateful.

Then I give him a sip of water and he nods at me, the look he gives me full of thanks again and at the same time a bit unbelieving and - most important to me - full of love.

I get to the task to rid him of all the spunk on his body and find out fast enough that the little cloth isn’t any good for it.

With red ears I hurry back into the bathroom a few more times to clean the cloth before Renji is finally back to viewable.

Last but not least I open the first aid kit and think it over how I should treat the wound (with my low, human tools) before I decide to clean off the blood with the wet cloth (of course clean) before I press one of those compresses against the spot that’s not bleeding that much anymore luckily.

With one hand I open a new bandage and help Renji to sit up so that I can wrap it around his middle.

He sways a bit and when he can lie back down he looks relieved. Me too by the way. If he would’ve become unconscious all of a sudden and had he fallen or something like that he would’ve only hurt himself more.

We both stay silent, I’m overwhelmed by the completed task at hand and Renji out of exhaustion but when I’m getting up to put the unused stuff back into the medical kit, Renji speaks up.

"You’re definitely not Byakuya or one of his Kidou masterpieces. He doesn’t have it in him to be like you." "How am I then?" I ask him, halfway joking. He looks thoughtful and lifts his hand to my cheek to run his second finger across it. He looks quite shy right now (it doesn’t fit him) and a moment later he lowers his gaze and shrugs.

"Well, different. Something like that," he points to the bandage, "he hasn’t and would never do. Maybe he would get some servant but him? Personally? Tsss. You are… kind and selfless and you stand up for your friends. I admire that."

I stay silent and feel my cheeks blush. I would describe me differently. Stubborn and touchy, cynical and impulsive.

And well, I do stand up for my friends, that statement I’d sign.

I put the packed first aid kit next to the bed and sit down cross-legged next to him. He seems to tremble and so I hurry up with getting out the crumpled up blanket from underneath him and to cover him with it.

"Are you… feeling better?" I ask gingerly and he nods, eyes half closed. "Better than before. Way better. I finally know again where I am. And it’s not so screwed up in my head anymore." "Any idea _what_ he gave you?" He scowls before shaking his head.

"I could’ve come up on my own that something was off. I gave a report in the first division, Byakuya and a few others where there as well. I was injured already then." He points to the hidden injury on his chest. "And I wasn’t feeling that good to begin with. If I remember it right Byakuya sent someone to fetch a drink for me. Bet he planned that." He nods with a hard look in his eyes. "First I felt… better. Really good actually. The dizziness was all gone and all but then it started all over again, first of all… well." He points towards the direction of his crotch.

I swallow. I don’t want to force him to talk but I’m looking for more reasons to put Byakuya onto the black list. "What happened?"

"He took me with him. Back to our division. That’s when I barely remembered anything already. I… don’t know how I managed to get away, only that he was… intrusive. Somehow… Different than usually. All the other times he kept his touching to the barest minimum and this time…" He seems to think. "He wasn’t able to keep his hands off me."

I can see him shudder and put my hand onto the spot of the blanket where I can see his underneath.

"Why did he do it in the first place? The thing with the… drink?" He snorts. "Oh well, you don’t even know that yet. He knows about us. Don’t ask me how - maybe he can read peoples minds or whatever - but he knows."

I swallow hard before my gaze becomes hard as well. Good enough. At least he won’t be surprised when I get there to chew off his head.

"I’m going to survive it." I answer confidently. "I hope so." Renji just mumbles before closing his eyes. "Are you tired?" I ask him softly and he nods.

"Then sleep. You have to get your strength back and then we’ll gonna get him." He nods again, a gingerly smile on his lips.

I put on my boxers before lying down next to him. Not to sleep. But being close to someone will help him. That’s what Dad says. That if someone is ill that somebody elses body heat helps.

Renji might not be ill in the well-known meaning but what helps with fever and stuff like that won’t do any bad now.

Apart from that it’s a good moment to think over what to do with Byakuya.

He’s lying on his back, I am on his left side, my arms wrapped around him cautiously as to not touch his wound.

His hand grabs for mine and I hold onto it while he buries his face in my neck.

I can hear (and feel) him take a few deep breaths before his heartbeat slows down and his breath calms.

For another minute I keep my mind on my boyfriend in my arms before I let my thoughts wander.

Can one report sexual assault like this? For example to the high commander? I just find out now that I have no idea about the laws in the shinigami world. Not really. Only a bit about the things I cared about and with whatever law I crossed back then.

I _know_ that relationships between shinigami aren’t forbidden - but even in the world of the souls there should be something like consent, shouldn’t it? And when someone breaks this rule, this law, there should be punishment for it. Right?

My head is close to exploding from all of that thinking.

How could we prove that he’s done something? He could just say that Renji did it willingly. And… in a way he did. Well… he didn’t say no that is. Not really. But he also never said _yes_. Not in the way that he told me about it. Well, he didn’t tell me that much in the first place. When Renji wakes up again I have to ask him about it, even when it rips open old wounds.

Get yourself together Ichigo! You don’t even know if any of your plans would work out in the first place and now you’re already looking for a way to bust Byakuya.

I take a few deep breaths. Dad! He should know stuff like that.

He was on the academy as far as I know and I bet he learned all about rules and laws and stuff. But I can’t call him because of something like this. Or talk to him in any other way.

Impossible.

But I have to. For Renji! I’m not quite sure how I should explain anything to him but he already got behind my relationship with Renji so maybe it might be easier than I think.

I take another deep breath and get out of Renjis grip carefully. At any other time that would wake him up. Just another indication at how bad he actually is.

I grab for my short pants and the cell phone in it, gaze a last time to the sleeping Renji and go into the kitchen where I close the door quietly and lean against the counter before looking up Dads number, bite my lips for a moment and hit the call button with determination.

My heart beats out of my chest and I have the urge to hang up but I just keep the phone close to my ear and wait impatiently for the beeping to stop. Maybe he’s with a patient. Or his cell phone is turned off.

"You’re speaking to Kurosaki." I can hear his deep bass and swallow.

"H-Hi Dad." I greet him with a flat voice. "Oh, how are you sonny? Anything Daddy can help you with?"

How to explain to your Dad that a friend gets sexually assaulted by his superior and that you want to put an end to it and that it all happens in the Soul Society?

Well, I should have thought about it earlier.

"In the Soul Society." I start directly without beating around the bush. "Do you know about the laws there?" That seems to put him off his stride because he’s silent for a moment. "Sure." he finally answers. "Why do you ask?" "Because… a friend of mine is in trouble." "The small dark haired one or the big redhead?" he interrupts me and I swallow. "The big redhead." "Hmm… What kind of trouble are we talking about? Denial of command, desertion, homicide on a superior?" My eyes widen. What the hell does Dad think that we do all day long? (Let me correct this: I don’t want to know what he _thinks_ that we do all day long).

"N-No, it’s more like… The other way around. A superior of his got… too close." That sounds rather harmless. "Ah. _Got too close_. I take it against his will?" I nod before realizing that he can’t see that. "Yes." "Did it come to intimacy?" I blush. It’s embarrassing when parents talk about sex. "Yes." I admit gingerly. "And more than once." "Did he try to fight back?" My shoulders drop. Not really. At least not back then. "Ahem. Not really. But he didn’t want to!" I add quickly. "Hm. What superior are we talking about? Your friend isn’t that small of a fish himself." "Are you gonna tell someone?" I ask quickly but I can only hear him snort from the other side of the line.

"I don’t care about what’s going on in the Seireitei. My world is this one." Yes, that calms me down. Dad might be fucking exhausting sometimes but he won’t lie to me. Well, not in something important like this (let’s not talk about birthday presents and the like of it).

"Alright… Kuchiki Byakuya." I can hear him take a deep breath. "Kuchiki? Then leave it be." "Why?" I interrupt him, maybe a bit too loud. "Because those Kuchiki-people are noble folks, they are a variety of its own. You and your friend - and whoever else tries to help you guys - will only get burned." But I can’t simply do _nothing_." I contradict heavily. "Well you _could_ but as I take it you _won’t_." "You got it!"

He sighs.

"Where is your friend right now?" "Here. I mean, in our world." "Is he allowed to?" My shoulders drop again. "I… don’t think so." I answer flatly.

Dad sighs and I can see in front of my inner eye how he rubs both thumb and forefinger over the point between his eyebrows.

"That’s bad. Then you do have some desertion here even though I understand his reasons. Maybe even some denial of command if he is supposed to be somewhere else right now. That makes it just the more complicated - he didn’t kill anyone while coming here, did he?" "I… no idea! I don’t think he knows himself." "Why’s that?" "Because… Byakuya drugged him with something. He wasn’t… quite himself when he got here." "Drugged him with some kind of _got too close_?" "Hmm." I nod. Dad stays silent for a long moment.

"How is he right now?" he asks with worry in his voice - the doctor in him is breaking through.

"Good I think. He’s sleeping right now." I say while taking a careful look out of the kitchen.

"It would be the best if you guys would come over to the clinic as soon as possible." "Why?" I ask him with a hint of panic. "Or I get to wherever you guys are. "Why?" I ask him again. "Easy enough, whatever he was drugged with, if you want to prove it someone has to confirm that he had it inside of him. And who could do it better than your most beloved father?" Contrary to his playful words his voice is serious. "Especially against someone like Kuchiki. So, where are you?"

I stay silent and think it over. I can’t bring Dad here! Renji wouldn’t agree to it. Well, maybe he would, but I don’t want it. This is our secret hiding place. One might think we’re in the middle of BDSM or just normal sex and Dad shows up. Ew!

But sadly enough he is right! We need something as proof that we are not making up stories.

I sigh deeply and give Dad the address to Renjis apartment.

"Good, I’ll be there in ten. If he wakes up in the meantime - that’s fine. If he doesn’t - that’s fine too." "Okay, see you." I squeeze out and hang up. _If he doesn’t - that’s fine too_?! Yeah. Sure. He is butt naked and I’m close to it. I hurry back into the room and get into my clothes before sitting down onto Renjis bed and knock at his cheeks slightly.

"Hey." I try to wake him up but it takes another moment before his eyelids start to flutter. "Hmm." he mumbles sleepily and I press my lips to his for a moment before jumping to my legs to rip open the window.

"Whasgoinon?" he mutters and runs his lower arm over his forehead. I’m already back next to him and help him drink a sip of water while explaining to him quickly what I have done and who will visit us in a bit.

He doesn’t seem to mind as much as I do, he even looks deeply touched while I help him into new underwear and a pair of pants before hiding his old clothes in his laundry basket.

I don’t make him put on a shirt though. It would only scratch against the wound if we’d have bad luck and we have enough problems as it is.

Renji is still not quite awake but the ten minutes are over. Punctual as Dad is he already rings at the door. I’ve never heard that sound before and even Renji flinches.

For a moment I ask myself from where Dad knew where to ring since I don’t remember that I gave him Renjis last name - like, ever!

Looks like he has done his own investigation when it came to Renji.

But I’ll think that over on another day.

I open the door quickly and wait till he’s up at the second floor, holding his little doctors suitcase in his hand that he always takes to home visits. At least he’s not wearing his doctors coat.

That would’ve made him look awfully official.

"You alright?" he asks me when I let him in and I just nod but I can feel him look me up and down.

Can he see that I just had sex? I hope not. Inconspicuously I run my fingers through my hair while Dad gets out of his shoes before walking into the direction of Renjis room without further ado.

He might be subtle about it but I can see him gaze left and right towards the kitchen and the bathroom. Whatever. There is no mess around here.

Renji tries to sit up when Dad steps in but he tells him with a movement of his hand to leave it be. "You stay down, you are as white as a canvas." he explains seriously and puts his little case onto the end of the bed where I put myself there, fingers folded into each other.

A cool gust of wind comes through the open window while Dad sits down on the edge of the bed and lets his gaze wander over the halfway healed wound on Renjis naked chest.

As it looks he thinks that this can wait for another minute or two because he lifts Renjis eye lids higher and takes a searching look into his dark eyes one after another.

"Hmm… Widened. Clouded." he mumbles, more to himself than to Renji or me before he takes out his stethoscope and starts to press it against Renjis chest.

He lies there awfully quietly and looks at my Dads actions apathetically. Is he still tired? Does Byakuyas drugs have side effects?

A shudder runs down my back and all of a sudden I’m incredibly glad that Dad is here.

He doesn’t look all that happy as he puts the stethoscope aside. "Open your mouth and pull out your tongue."

Obediently Renji follows the order and whatever Dad sees _here_ doesn’t seem to get him in a better mood. I take a look at his tongue critically. Looks a bit more pale than usually. Can one say it like this? Can a tongue look _pale_?

Right now I’m angry at myself for never showing any interest in medicine and that I never asked things like this. On the other side - why should have I? I never had the urge to know stuff like that.

"Did he drink anything since his return?" Dad asks and I nod but have to clear my throat first to make sure that my voice doesn’t break. "Yes, water." I point to the glass on his night table and Dad nods.

"Get more." I don’t question it, instead I take the glass and hurry into the kitchen to get more. I really do hurry. I don’t want to miss anything of what’s happening in the other room.

Dad checks Renjis blood pressure when I come back, using the stethoscope again and the pressure-bracelet-thing. I sneak closer and put down the full glass onto the night table carefully while Renji watches my Dad work.

He probably doesn’t know any of that stuff. From where should he? The Soul Society doesn’t use those human methods. But I dare say that I doubt it that anyone from there would be able to help him now.

"105 to 58, pulse at barely 100. Are you dizzy?"

"A bit." Renji answers and I’m surprised at how weak he sounds. Is it his wound? The drug? The _sex_ maybe? I swallow. "Hmm, _a bit_ much I would say. And no, stay down, no need to prove anything to anyone."

For a moment I can see the well known fight inside of Renjis eyes and I’m afraid that he might actually try to get up but then he just sighs and closes his eyes again, if just for a moment.

Dad pulls out a packed syringe and a few of those thick test tubes and explains Renji in a few words what the whole deal is with taking blood before pushing in the needle into the skin of his elbow. We both flinch but don’t look away when he pulls the syringe.

I lift my eyebrows. Shouldn’t there be blood running now? Is it because he’s a soul? Nonsense, Ichigo! He is able to bleed just fine.  
  
Dad sighs. "Ichigo, give him something to drink." Yeah, right. The blood won’t flow right if you don’t drink enough. I sit down next to his head onto the bed and lift it carefully before putting the glass to his lips. He takes a few sips but Dad insists that he drinks it all and so I force Renji gently to finish the glass.

He looks just the more exhausted afterwards when he finally finishes. Also it does look like the half an hour of sleep that he had didn’t do him any good but as if he got worse instead.

Worry overtakes me again and before I can stop myself I run my hand across his cheek gingerly and he looks at me, well, kinda through me but only partly due to his condition, it’s more like he’s looking all the way into my soul.

That hasn’t happened that often yet. He hides behind a facade of coolness just like I do.

Not right now.

I don’t know for how long we sit there and look at each other, maybe a minute or more, maybe only for a few heartbeats.

In the end it’s Renji who looks away, down to his arm where Dad changed the position of the needle by a tad and where the blood finally flows now.

I’m just thinking if he did that on purpose but then I dismiss the thought again.

As if nothing happened Dad keeps talking, ignoring our silent love confessions. Thanks Dad. "Make sure that he drinks a lot. At least one of those glasses in half an hour. More if possible."

I nod wordlessly. He won’t be able to get me away from here, not for school, not for anything.

He stares at the tubes thoughtfully. "I’ll find out what’s inside. What he gave you." Renji nods and Dad puts away the tubes and the used needle before he puts a band aid onto the puncture spot even though it’s not even bleeding.

"Let me take a look at this wound. How did that happen?" "Field mission. Enemy attack out of cover, around 2236 in a supposedly fight-free zone." "Primary care?" "Around five minutes later through the fourth division."

Dad seems to be a bit happier with these facts. He loosens the bandage briefly that I wrapped around his middle and gazes at the injury critically. It’s not bleeding anymore, lucky us, and he squeezes around on the sides a bit before putting the bandage back to its former place.

"Your doing?" he asks me and I nod. "Well done, son." He gets up from the edge of the bed. "A few hours, maybe a day, depending on how hard or easy that stuff can be found, then I know what’s inside of your bloodstream. Ichigo, don’t forget to let him drink a lot. And no funny business."

Renji gives his consent to all of it. I follow his example and feel how I blush even though I doubt that Dad means something like _this_ with the _funny business_ part.

"I’ll call you." he says - nothing about when and if I’ll come home. Again: Thanks Dad.

I get him to the door in silence.

He’s already halfway out of the door, fully clothed again when he says quietly. "I mean it. Leave that superior of his be, at least for as long as it takes me to find something." I sigh. "I can’t go to the Soul Society anyways. Remember? I don’t have any powers anymore."

He nods curtly and a hard facial expression wanders over his face. "I remember. Take care." He clasps my shoulder, then he leaves and I close the door.

Right. No more powers. How the hell am I supposed to get into the Soul Society?

I can hear Renji cough in his room and hurry to his side. "I’ll get you something to drink." I remember Dads words and hurry into the kitchen.

He started to sweat again and after I gave him something to drink I get the cloth and run it over his eyebrows, forehead and neck gently.

"Thanks." he whispers and I force a smile.

I should let him sleep but the problem about getting to the Soul Society won’t let go of me and so I voice my worries.

He snorts. "I’ll take any bet that Urahara would have an idea." My eyes become big, if only for a moment.

Right. How couldn’t I think about _him_? Renji gives a weak laugh. "I can give you his number." "N-No need, I got it myself. I think…" I answer and he nods, satisfied. "Go ahead, call him. I’ll stay right here and sleep a tad and when your father finds out something we’ll get into the Seireitei straight away."

I swallow and press a kiss to his forehead before leaving him alone in his bed with a heavy heart. I hide in the kitchen again and look up Uraharas number.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I would like to say that I'm no doctor or anything like it.  
> Of course I did some research but at the end of the day I have no idea about medicine and drugs and so on so I would like to apologize for any mistakes and Renjis and / or Ichigos improper behavior. ^^"

The next hours are pure torture.

Renji is sleeping but he does so restlessly. From time to time I wake him from his uneasy slumber and let him drink some water. Sometimes he barely recognizes me, still half asleep and swallows the water automatically.

Dad still didn’t call.

Oh, about Urahara. He only laughed at my question if he could get me into the Soul Society and told me that he got it in stock (I don’t really have the urge to know what _it_ is) and that I should come by whenever I want to go.

Our conversation wasn’t much longer and now my cell phone is lying right next to me so that I won’t miss Dads call but the hours go by and nothing happens.

I’m restless myself, can’t sleep or read a book or watch a movie. Instead I’m sitting on Renjis bed and watch him sleep, wipe away the sweat from time to time and gaze at my cell phone afterwards to make sure that I didn’t accidently miss Dads call.

It’s nearly dark again when my cell phone finally vibrates (I turned it to silent mode as for Renji not to wake up) and I jump off the bed before running into the kitchen and hitting the green button. "Yes?" I answer somewhat breathlessly. "Ichigo, it’s me." Dad answers. "Did you find something?" "Oh you can bet on it. There’s a whole drug cocktail in his blood, even prescription drugs out of our world." I blink. How the hell got Byakuya his hands on something like _that_?

"I found traces of bupropion and prolactin, both known for making the genitals more sensitive and heightening the lust for sexual intercourse - did you notice anything like it?" I swallow. "Hmm." I nod vaguely and Dad lets the topic be. "Then I found yohimbine - at least something vegeta. He could have that from the Soul Society as well but that stuff is well known in our world as well. Overdosing it leads to a quickened pulse - which I can confirm - heightened flow of sweat and anxiety." I don’t think he’s anxious right now but he does sweat. A lot.

I swallow.

"What does that mean?" I ask. "That I wouldn’t advise any sports in the near future. Might be too much for his heart. I can’t exactly tell for how long with a mixture like that. It would be for the best if he sleeps and continues to drink a lot of water until his body got rid of that stuff." "Okay." I answer with a thin voice. "And Ichigo?" "Yes?" "Don’t hesitate to call if anything changes." "Yeah, I know." I answer, relieved over his support. "Good. Sleep well. And Ichigo - you might really be able to get Kuchiki with that."

I don’t say anything, just return my good night wishes and hang up.

I take a relieved breath. Renji is going to be alright soon and Byakuya will get his ass kicked. Couldn’t be better.

I hurry to the toilet before getting back to Renji where I get out of shirt and pants and get underneath the blanket and next to him.

"So?" I can hear him ask. His voice sounds tired and a bit hoarse but I’m glad that he’s awake. With a few words I tell him what Dad found out.

He seems to be just as relieved as I am and snuggles closer to me. I don’t know him in need of protection like this. Maybe it’s the anxiety from the vegetal stuff. Gently I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer.

"Good night." I whisper and press my lips against his wet and warm forehead.

It takes two more days until Renji is all back up and healthy. He’s bitching about it and demands to be allowed to get up but I’m glued to him like a mother hen and only let him out of the bed to take a piss.

He’s well enough on the next day for us to watch a movie on his laptop. (At least Urahara didn’t want it back in the last few months so I take it that it is _Renjis_ laptop.)

Afterwards he is tired again and I let him sleep while I’m looking up all of that stuff that Dad was talking about on the Internet.

During lunch-time I try to cook something (even though it’s nothing too special) and I order pizza for dinner. Renji is very keen when it comes to these things and I have to stop him from eating the whole pizza on his own. I’m hungry too after the sparse (badly seasoned, halfway burned) lunch I made.

I’m no good for such things. Usually Yuzu is the one making food.

On the second day I can only keep him in bed by sheer force. Even the wound on his chest looks better and when he stands up (this time without my help and support) he’s not pale in the face anymore and his steps don’t waver.

Renji seems to used his time in bed for forging plans because during breakfast on day three he barely talks about anything else than our planed excursion to the Soul Society. In a few words I tell him what I found out about yohimbine and all the other stuff and Renji listens to me in silence, anger in his dark eyes before he explains to me how he plans to smuggle me into the Soul Society.

"Ikkaku and Yumichika are going to help us, I’d bet on it. They like you just fine, if they act that way or not. We just put you into a shihakusho and… yeah, we color your hair and glue a beard to your face or something like this so that nobody recognizes you. Nobody would suspect you in the world of the souls and we just say that you’re a newbie. If we meet someone from division five we tell them that you’re from the third and the other way around. Aizens division isn’t spoken of, just as well as Gins and Tosens, nobody will ask twice. And anyways, we better don’t meet with too many people. Then… Then…"

Yes, I didn’t get much further than that myself.

"Any chance that we can go to high command?" He sighs and rubs his neck. "Don’t think so. Your father is right we can’t just walk it and blame Byakuya. Shiba-san did prove _that_ Byakuya gave me something but it won’t be enough. We need… real proof that he’s assaulting me."

I swallow and scowl. "Sure." I answer with a voice dripping of sarcasm. "How do you expect that to happen? You walk into his bureau and hope that he’s going to jump you and wants sex?"

I can see Renji tremble. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply. "Well… guess I have to." "No, you don’t! We’ll find something better." I contradict harshly. "Who knows what you’ve done to him when you ran - maybe he kills you or… even when he doesn’t, I bet he’s pissed about you leaving."

"Right…" he mumbles. "Then… we scout everything first and think it over how save it is to do. We need a video camera for footage and-" I interrupt him.

"You’re going to let him in after… everything that happened?" I can see him swallow. "No, but I don’t have to either. No way I let myself get filmed during sex! It’s enough when Byakuya tries to get too close and then I’ll get the camera and bug off."

"Hmm…" I mutter, still not that convinced. "First we need a video camera and I don’t have one." "Doesn’t matter, we’ll buy one."

Now it’s the perfect moment to ask a question that burns on the tip of my tongue since a while. "Where do you have all that money from anyways? The apartment, going on dates and all that?" "Why, from my job of course." Renji throws me a gaze that means _Are you really asking that?_ "Job?" I ask, even more confused than before.

"Sure - you do get paid as a shinigami - didn’t you know?" I shake my head. "And you can use it in the human world?" "Nope - but Urahara changes it to yen and the other way around."

I snort, amused. There aren’t that many shinigami living in the human world - I bet Renji is his only customer when it comes to the money exchange.

It’s nice that he does it anyways.

"Alright, we’ll do as you say." I give in finally. Renji might be more stubborn than I am.

"When are we going to go?" I continue. "As soon as we have the cam." That’s… rather soon. Usually I’m all up for spontaneous actions but I’m not too sure if it’s a good idea to walk into the Seireitei without any preparation.

Not now when I’m without my powers.

I can’t protect us both - those aren’t thugs from school, those are fighting machines.

At the same time I understand Renjis urge to go - he was already gone for way too long and the longer he’s away the worse the upcoming punishment. A shudder runs down my back as I remember Rukias near-execution, even though it was only put up by Aizen.

And would Dad agree? Maybe he could give us any tips how to get rid of Byakuya best.

I sigh. "Are we gonna finish breakfast first?" "Sure. Afterwards we’ll leave though."

I nod wordlessly.

An hour later we’re ready for a trip to the Soul Society. Apartment locked, newly bought video camera in a small shoulder bag that I have slung over my shoulder and a message to Dad in our mail box.

Now we’re standing in front of Uraharas shop and my heart beats out of my chest. Everything happens too fast and not fast enough at the same time.

If we would only be back in the human world already. I hit my cheeks inconspicuously.

Get your shit together Ichigo!

I don’t worry about myself, I’m doing fine. It’s about Renji. I mean, he could just stay here. For ever.

I shake my head. It would only be for a while - then the Soul Society would be after him. No, it’s time to finish this.

No idea if Urahara is happy to see me or not - he’s his usual self.

Up to now I had no idea how exactly I should get into the Soul Society without my soul form but Urahara knows of course. Everyone has a soul, whether one can communicate with it or not. Apart from that, everybody needs help when switching between human body and soul body.

Back then I needed my badge, Renji needs a gigai and so on. In the end I’m not surprised when Urahara uses his zanpakuto to push my soul out of my body.

No shinigami clothes this time, only a simple white shitagi.

It feels… weird. As if I’d be under water. Breathing is hard, walking is hard and talking is impossible.

Well, now we’ve got figured out what happens if you force someone like me into his soul form - can somebody get me back into my body now?

I don’t understand what Urahara is saying, my ears are ringing but he gives me a pill, small, poisonous red and shows me with hand signs that I should swallow it. The last time that I swallowed something that Urahara offered Kon happened but since the feeling of _can’t-breathe_ starts to take over I put the thing into my mouth and swallow sluggishly.

It doesn’t even take a minute until the ringing vanishes and I gasp for air while Urahara laughs. I look around for Renji - there he stands, clothed in his shinigami uniform and with his zanpakuto at his side.

And I can see him. As shinigami. My heart tries to beat out of my chest. It worked. Urahara talks about that he’s glad that in the end all worked well (what could’ve gone wrong? Hold it, I don’t want to know!) and that I would be ready for a trip to the Soul Society.

I have to admit, it would’ve been a bit problematic if I wouldn’t be able to see souls while being one too. One should think I run into someone or talk to the air.

So much for disguising.

Then Urahara digs up the usual shinigami clothes for me to put one (the smell a bit stale but they fit at least) and then he really does color my hair into a inconspicuous, dark brown.

It doesn’t fit me but it doesn’t have to either. It’s for camouflage. Apart from that most shinigami wouldn’t know me in the first place. They know me from stories but never saw me by themselves.

Just other captains or guys like Ikkaku that I met more often could identify me and we should make a big circle around them.

Urahara gives me a big (quite really big) tin in which are dozens if not hundreds of those little red pills. "I’ll put them onto your check." he tells me with the loveliest voice he manages. (I would love to feed him his own pills.) "Take one whenever you feel your breathing growing hard. Or when the world blurs around you or something like this."

I sigh. I’ve got the feeling that I’m playing guinea pig for him.

He even gets out a katana for me. It looks old but is well looked after - well, reasonably. When I ask him to whom the zanpakuto belonged to earlier he just laughs and explains to me that it’s a normal katana from the human world, dated to the time of shogun Yoshinobu Tokugawa.

I’m not that happy to wield a hundred fifty years old weapon - but better than nothing.

Then we are out of the shop - me with my shoulder bag with the video camera and the tin of pills over my shoulder - and Renji opens a passage to the Soul Society with Zabimaru.

The doors open up and I step into the white light with Renji that burns down onto my eye lids so heavily that I have to close them for a moment.

When I open them again I can see the outskirts of the Seireitei.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s weird to be back. The white buildings, the long paths underneath the bright blue sky and the blue-tiled floor. It kind of reminds me of stories about places that have milk and honey flowing in them (which is physically impossible of course. At the same time _this one_ isn’t a physical world either).

My heart beats wildly inside of my chest and the katana hits my leg with every step I take. Tomorrow it will be full of bruises but I don’t dare to carry it on my back like I did it with Zangetsu back then. That would be way to conspicuous since I was one of the very few who did it like this (means; way too conspicuous) and so I just hold it straight with my left hand in the end.

Renji is rather quiet and I’m not saying anything either, instead we look left and right in a concentrated way to keep a lookout for people we know, that might know us and that we have to keep out of the way of.

I guess we’re awfully suspicious, the way we look around, the way our eyes wander restlessly. It doesn’t help that we sweat like madmen.

Well, it’s warm alright - but we look agitated, like we are trying to escape.

It doesn’t help. I pull Renji into a somewhat dark alleyway. "We don’t have time for that now." he whispers into my ear and I can feel his breath on it and his warm, strong body against mine.

"Not because of _that_ , idiot." I squeeze out. I’m too confused right now and trying too hard to stay concentrated on acting unsuspicious as if I (or little Ichigo) would be interested in sex right now. "We’re way too suspicious. We have to calm down." "I _am_ calm." he answers and I look up at him in confusion. Right. His breath is calm and not fast at all. He’s sweating and there’s a fire in his eyes but when he looks at me he looks more bored than anything else.

Then why are my hands shaking like crazy? Why do I feel like shit?

I swallow. It hasn’t even been half an hour - and Uraharas first pill is already done for? Damn.

I grab into my bag and get out the tin with the red pills, drop some into my bag while doing so and close the tin hastily before swallowing the thing without water.

Now Renji looks more worried and he has got his arms stretched out halfway like he would be trying to catch me if I’d fall.

Damn, I hope I don’t.

Slowly I lean against the cool brick wall behind me. It takes about a minute, then I’m feeling better again. My heart isn’t racing anymore, my breath doesn’t come in pants and the shaking of my hands eases up.

I sigh heavy hearted. "Okay, looks like we don’t have that much time." I admit without looking Renji into his eyes. I hate myself right now for being so weak. One pill in half an hour. For how long am I going to be alright? Long enough? Am I randomly going to collapse and die? Can I actually die right now?

I shake my head quickly. "We’ll walk to the eleventh division now and ask Ikkaku to distract Byakuya, then we get everything ready, put the camera there and so on. Then… it’s time for your big appearance and we’ll take it all to Yamamoto. I guess I’ve got enough pills for that. Then… I’ll have to get back. Back and into my body and that urgently."

I look up at him. He nods. "That’s how we’ll do it." My condition does seem to worry him.

"Can you walk?" I snort. "Sure!" I answer, maybe a bit too harsh. He won’t have to carry me around. "Okay." he answers, somewhat gingerly. "Okay." I return and grab for his hand to pull him after me before another attack of weakness could overcome me.

"Let’s hope that Ikkaku is right there where he always is." I can hear Renji mumble but don’t say anything to it.

I hope that too. I also hope that Byakuya is in his bureau or somewhere in the building of the sixth division so that we don’t have to look for him first. And I hope that Renjis plan works and that it doesn’t go so totally wrong like it could.

I swallow. I’ve got a bad bad feeling in my stomach - or maybe it’s just me being in my soul body or because of Uraharas pills or because I barely ate anything today.

My gaze is directed to the front while I walk into the direction of the eleventh division in a hurry and with Renji right behind me.

Ikkaku wasn’t there where he usually was according to Renji so we kept looking for him only to find him in the next place that sold sake.

Renji sent me in since there were a few shinigami inside and I am - at least now - not as recognizable as Renji is (and there’s still a chance that there are people looking for him because of what the hell ever).

It might’ve been better to dress up _him_ instead of me but now it’s too late for that and so I went into the bar and lured out a somewhat drunk Ikkaku with an order of his captain.

I barely managed to stop him from screaming my name. No wonder that he identified me right away - I’m not looking _that_ different at the end of the day.

At least I can’t see any known faces and that bar isn’t that overcrowded either. I’m sure everyone else is at work (where they should be).

Ikkaku is stumbling around a bit and the thought occurs that it _might_ not be a good idea to send him to Byakuya like this.

Before the bar Renji is waiting for us and we walk around a few corners. Renji seems to know the area well enough because he goes straight to a well where he grabs Ikkaku by his kosode and holds his head under water.

"What’s going on now?" I car hear Ikkaku mumble vaguely (really, _really_ vaguely) before Renji pulls him back up. " _Renji_?!" Ikkaku coughs, definitely not as drunk as before anymore. (I have to keep that trick in mind for the time when Keigo is old enough to be allowed to drink.)

I a few short sentences Renji explains to him why we are here and that we need his help (well, he leaves it at a bare minimum. He doesn’t say anything about Byakuya getting to close to him and those things) while I throw in another pill.

Shit. Time is ticking and we still have way too much to do.

Ikkaku starts to giggle while he’s still sitting on the edge of the well. "Sure I’m helping." Apparently something is rather funny since he’s still laughing. "But Kuchiki? For real? I’d leave him be if I were you. And what the hell do you want me to say, hmm?" "No idea. Tell him you’ve got a report or whatever. He’s just not supposed to be in the damn building of the sixth for a few minutes."

"Oh screw you Renji. Why are you asking me for things like that? And why - and _how_ , damn it - is Ichigo here?" "Long story for the next time drinking. Drinks on me, promise. So, are you in?"

"Fuck it, I’m in." At the same time _I_ come up with something. "Is Renji wanted for anything right now?" I ask and Ikkaku frowns before he starts to laugh again. "Him? Nonsense, for what exactly?! I heard he’s in Rukongai, hunting Ryoka." he says with his gaze at Renji.

I can see Renjis eyebrows draw together. He was. And he did before he got injured. So Byakuya left all of the things that happened ( _whatever_ happened) out of his reports?

Damn.

A shudder runs down my body. "Come on, let’s get going." I try to hurry up both of the full time shinigami. I can see how Renji throws me an examining look.

I gift him with a calming smile behind Ikkakus back (which might be a bit tight but who cares) before we start to walk towards the sixth division, using pathways and alleys that are rarely used.

Until we’re finally there I have to take another one of those pills - Ikkaku realizes it but bites down any questions - at least for now.

In front of the division we run right into Rikichi, one of Renjis admirers and he gets himself into a pose right away and asks where the captain is.

The black haired young shinigami answers willingly. Yes, Byakuya is around. Should he get him?

We throw each other a glance. That would make it easier, that’s for sure. Byakuya could grow leery if he gets lead in front of the door by Ikkaku without any reason.

I have to admit - there are still about a thousand ways in which this can go wrong and we tell Rikichi that he shouldn’t tell the captain from our attendance since we plan a surprise for the captains (apparently) upcoming birthday (at least the part with the surprise is nothing but the truth).

And no, he definitely shouldn’t tell Byakuya that he knows anything about his birthday. It’s incredible how well Renji wraps his subordinates around his little finger. Rikichi is already up and running while we say our quick goodbyes to Ikkaku and walk around the building to get in through another entrance.

We sneak through the building on quiet soles, slowly, keeping an ear out for any sounds.

The door to the bureau is open and so we get in.

Without a word I get out the video camera. I already tried it in the human world. That thing works and it films for five hours straight before the memory card is used up or before it needs charging again. That should be enough.

Quickly we look for a place where the camera can overlook most of the room and where it won’t be found straight away.

Renji has the final idea, takes the camera out of my hand and hides it in the corner between various cleaning utensils between a broom and a bucket before he drapes a cloth over it until one can only see the lens of the camera if one would look really well and hits the _start_ button.

Happy with its place I let my gaze wander through the room, the room that Renji shares with Byakuya during their working time.

I sigh, my gaze on the small desk in the corner that looks like it belongs to Renji.

I still remember his story. How Byakuya took him for the first time right there.

Anger rises in me and I grid my teeth.

Renji seems to read my thoughts, he just grabs my arm silently and pulls me with him, out of the bureau and to the entrance through which we got into the building.

For the first time since Aizen I’m glad that the Soul Society has to deal with enemies right now, otherwise there would be too many shinigami here to avoid.

We take a relieved breath anyways when we leave the building.

"And now?" I whisper. "Now we wait for ten more minutes and then you and Ikkaku leave and I go back in."

I grow pale. Right. I have to leave Renji alone if that thing is supposed to work. He must be reading my thoughts in my face again because he smiles gently.

"Don’t worry. It will go bad." "It won’t go _too_ bad." I correct him. He smiles and only when I look closely I can see that it's forced and that it doesn’t reach his eyes.

I wrap my arms around him. "Take care of yourself." "And you too." he mumbles while returning my hug.

"I love you." I whisper into his chest. "And I love you, more than anything in this or your world."

I force a little smile and he answers it, way more happy and bravely than he actually is.

We stand next to each other in silence, leaning against the wall in the shadow. Not even five minutes later Ikkaku walks by, acting randomly and gives us the thumbs up.

"Did he realize anything?" "Nonsense, totally clueless that captain of yours." "Good." Renji answers.

"Then we’ll meet up later, Ichigo. One hour, my place. Ikkaku - you’ll show it to him, alright?" "No worries."

Heavy hearted I wave my goodbyes to Renji - a weak see off for what’s lying in front of us - before I follow Ikkaku while Renjis shoulders tighten before he takes a deep breath and walks back into the sixths head quarters.

It doesn’t look like Ikkaku is in a hurry to take me to Renjis barrack. Instead we walk through the Seireitei in some sort of sight seeing tour and he tells me about his work in the eleventh division and how everyone else is in battle but him and a few others that were injured.

Lucky us. At least Renji and me. If not for his injuries we would’ve had no one to lure Byakuya out.

Then he shows me his halfway healed injuries - way too proud at them, something that I simply can’t understand.

Renji was quite long in the eleventh division himself but I haven’t seen him glorifying violence yet. Well, not like this at least. On the other hand Ikkaku is… special.

Whenever he starts to talk about my appearance in the Seireitei and my unusual hair color I change the topic quickly - and not really elegantly - and in the end he finally gives up to get any information about me being here.

Our walk through the Seireitei is rather exhausting and I have to throw in two more pills before Ikkaku finally decides to take me to Renjis place.

On our way there I convince him that he shouldn’t tell _anyone_ that we’re here. Not Kenpachi, not any other captain or any other shinigami or not-shinigami in this world.

He seems a bit annoyed by my urging but gives in finally and then we already reached Renjis apartment. Well, _apartment_ might be too big of a word for it. It’s nothing but a long, white wall in which windows and doors are alternating.

So that’s what shinigami barracks look like. Quite probably only one room each - and Renji is a damn _lieutenant_! One of those rooms can we walked by in six short steps before one stands in front of the next door.

Little numbers are nailed to the doors and Ikkaku tells me Renjis before he says his goodbyes and leaves.

I think he is rather frustrated by me being that absent minded (I thought about Renji non-stop) and me being unwilling to talk.

I don’t care about that right now. I just want to meet up with Renji now.

I’m still a bit too early but with a little luck his place is open. I admit that I’m a bit too nervous and too excited to be really curious about his place but we might be able to calm down for a few moments before Byakuya is after us.

I walk down the doors until I reach Renjis number. I don’t know if the numbers got something to do with his rank or if the shinigami were just numbered consecutively since their establishment but that’s something I will deal with later.

Even before I open the door I feel that something went awfully wrong.

Where from? No idea. Instinct maybe. The weird feel in the area of my stomach definitely doesn’t come from a lack of pills.

I’m extremely careful when I pull down the door handle and just when I do I wish that I didn’t.

I’m standing in a hallway, narrow and maybe two steps long where one can take off his shoes, put down his zanpakuto or his umbrella - what a floor is there for.

Without a door one stands in the only room of the little barrack, only parted from the hallway by a short wall.

I don’t have to look around the corner to find out what’s going on. For a moment I think (hope) that I got the wrong number somehow - but I know Renjis voice way too well, especially when it hits _this_ tone. That high moan that indicates that he’s close to orgasm.

My blood freezes inside my veins and I’m standing there like nailed to the floor. I can’t hear anything from his current sex partner, only the slap from skin to skin.

The last doubts are put away when Renji starts to talk, to _babble_ like he usually does during sex, words without much sense that would turn me on incredibly much at any other time.

"Fuck, more. Touch me, please. Hahh! Harder! Aaaah - again."

Yes, he’s having sex. And fun at the same time.

I have the urge to storm into the room, unsheathe my katana and to scream but I just sneak closer on quiet soles until I can throw a glance around the corner.

The room is rather minimalistic. A dresser for clothes. A small closet for private things. An opened futon in the far end corner - and on that futon Renji, lying on his back, hair tousled, eyes closed in bliss, legs spread and his arms spread out left and right of his body.

His body is glistening with sweat, his chest heaves quickly with each and every of his pants and his cock lies on his stomach, stiff like a rock.

A sight for the gods - wouldn’t there be a figure with long, black hair above him that presses Renjis knees to his chest, still fully clothed while Renji is completely naked.

My mouth is gaping.

How the hell gets Renji from _acting as if he wants sex with Byakuya and then turn tail and run_ to _actually have sex with him_?

Right now it really doesn’t look like he minds having Byakuya on top of him - quite the contrary. And he doesn’t look drugged up this time either.

Am I that bad in sex? Can’t I satisfy him in bed? Those thoughts are nonsense but they shoot through my head nevertheless without me being able to stop them.

My fingers wander to the katana on my side automatically. Up to now Byakuya was so caught up in the act that he didn’t even recognize me but as I unsheathe my sword now the captain turns his gaze, so quickly that his long hair flies around.

He reacts in the time of a heartbeat and before I even unsheathed the katana completely he rammed his fist into Renjis temple, pulled out of him and let his obi slide down so that it covers his crotch.

The sheath of my sword clatters to the ground with a loud noise when Byakuya jumps to his feet and grabs for Senbonzakura, who's leaning against the wall.

I don’t waste any time, with a wild battle cry I take a quick step forward and swing my sword.

I should’ve trained with it. I’m used to Zangetsus weight who weighs about twice as much as the toothpick in my hand. At the same time I used to be a lot stronger - physically (or better said _souly_ ) stronger.

The sword nearly flies out of my hand and a moment later Byakuya has rammed the grip of his zanpakuto into my forehead. I fall backwards to the ground like a wet sack and loose my consciousness for half a second.

I’m back before I even hit the ground but the katana slides out of my hand and against the next wall with a clatter.

For a moment I’m lying there, confused and blinking into nothingness, then Byakuya is over me and my body reacts while my brain is still sleeping.

I pull my knees to my body and ram my heels right into Byakuyas unprotected crotch.

Life is not fair. Fights are not fair. It’s also not fair that Byakuya has sex with Renji just like that. It’s also not fair that Renji let him do it or that he fell for one of Byakuyas tricks.

Nobody around me is playing fair. No reason for me to be fair myself.

My kick gets him out of balance and I turn onto my stomach and rob and crawl to my sword.

I barely wrapped my fingers around the hilt and turned around onto my back when Byakuyas blade rushes down towards me and in the last moment I pull the katana in front of my face.

Steel hits steel - did I actually see a spark there? - and I roll around again before stumbling to my feet and using my unsteady stand to ram my shoulder into Byakuyas side.

I feel how I graze him but at the same time he must’ve taken a step aside (or so I guess since I didn’t see him do so) and fall onto my hands and knees heavily a moment later.

A hard kick hits my temple and again the world grows black in front of my eyes. The kick throws me back down to the floor and I can feel breathlessness coming up again. How the world becomes blurred. How my limbs start to shake.

Damn, not now! Keep in mind: The effect of the pills is reduced when I’m fighting. Urahara owes me _money_ for having me play the guinea pig (because I _am_ , since otherwise he would’ve told me _important things_ like this!) and a few favors too. Maybe the reduced effect is due to the exhaustion or maybe because of the beating I get.

A scream escapes my throat when Byakuyas heel digs down on my wrist, the right one, the one holding the katana.

The blade slides out of my numb fingers and I rip my free arm in front of my face when Byakuyas second foot aims for my nose from high above me.

For an awful long moment his whole weight is on my wrist and I can feel something break and splinter inside.

I bat away his second foot clumsily (that arm will definitely bruise) and while Byakuya is looking for his balance I grab into my shoulder bag that’s actually still where it was before I started this brawl and catch a handful of those pills.

Only half of it really makes it into my mouth and when I swallow them down I nearly start to cough.

An awful though occurs: Urahara also never told me what happened if I take more than one. A moment later a cruel pain shoots through my body and I scream myself hoarse. The shaking of my limbs intensifies and I can feel my heart race. Overdose. Fuck. Ichigo, you greedy bastard!

I press the injured hand - that probably thumps and hurts a lot but which I can’t feel at all right now - against my chest while getting onto my feet heavily.

Something must have changed at my spiritual energy because Byakuya looks at me warily and stays away a few steps, sword drawn and held in front of him like a wall.

A gurgling laugh escapes my mouth. He wants to stop me with that? I feel like on drugs (lets get that right: I _am_ on drugs - fuck you, Urahara!) and I feel invincible even though my heart threatens to jump out of my chest and my body shakes so badly that I feel like I’m going to crumple any moment now.

I can feel foam in front of my mouth but don’t even think about wiping it off.

Instead I take an unsure step into his direction, another one and another one.

It looks like Byakuya doesn’t know what to do of me but he doesn’t even take a step back, instead he just lifts his sword slightly. I saw him fight with that blade often enough to know how he’s going to attack me next. A swing coming semi diagonally from above, good to use in small rooms like this one, nothing more than a movement of his wrist that would cut me open from the right side of my collarbone all the way down to the left side of my navel if he hits.

With a bellowing laugh I dive underneath the blade and ram my elbow with all the power that I can come up with with my shaky limbs into his liver. I feel the last rib of his ribcage give underneath my hit but I can’t hear a single sound of pain, instead he changes the direction of his zanpakuto and I can feel a short burning sensation on my cheek and then warm blood flowing down.

I ignore it and doge the next stab skillfully before I lift my strong hand without thinking twice, my right hand, the one with the shattered wrist, make a fist without really knowing how my fingers are able to do _anything_ right now and ram my weird looking fist into his cheek.

Byakuya doesn’t look moved by this at all, instead I feel an explosion running through my arm, starting at my hand. The high from before disappears just like this, instead I scream in agony.

The hand hangs down, useless and aflame while I scratch my upper arm with my left hand, feverish, as if I could stop the pain like that.

A moment later Byakuya grabs me by my collar and pushes me against the wall with the power of a shinigami - a _real_ shinigami, not a wanna-be like I am right now - my feet dangling a few inches above the ground.

I gasp for air. The breathlessness is back, together with the dizziness. Not because Byakuya is squeezing my windpipe or anything. One can’t see it in his face but the rib that I broke and the organs I probably damaged with my elbow didn’t pass him without a trace.

Instead of starting to beat me to a pulp he talks for the first time since I stepped into the room. His voice doesn’t sound cold and emotionless anymore, instead it’s full of anger and hate and bitterness.

"Give up Kuroski! He came to me! On his own." And I answer him even though I should keep my mouth shut and my voice is hoarse and weak and broken but just as grim as his. "He didn’t _come to you_! I know it all! How you drugged him and tried to rape him and others know too! Your days are counted, Kuchiki Byakuya."

That seems to make him unsure. I can see it in the way his grip tightens but not in his face which is unchanged and angry.

"Yohimbine. Bupropion. Prolactin. Does that mean anything to you?"

It definitely _does_. But he himself doesn’t say anything anymore, at least nothing that I hear because the world grows black in front of my eyes, maybe because of my shattered wrist, maybe because I need those stupid pills or maybe because he rammed Senbonzakura straight through my body.

I can feel myself falling a long way down - but I’m not awake anymore to feel the impact.


	5. Chapter 5

When I open my eyes again I have no idea where the hell I am. Everything around me is blurred, but I can see a lot of white.

Through the ringing in my ears I can hear voices that I can’t quite assign. First my whole body is numb, then pain explodes everywhere.

In my wrist. My face is in flames. My heart beats wildly against my chest and I sit up abruptly, try to see anything around me and scream soundlessly when my hand hits against something.

Another moment later I can feel two big hands on my shoulders, vaguely familiar, that are pressing me down to the floor.

No, not the floor. A bed. All of that white from before… A hospital?

Shit, I have to get out of the Soul Society before the fact that I’m not taking Uraharas pills kills me. Or the fact that I’ve taken them. Whatever happens first.

Again I try to sit up but the hands hold me down stubbornly. I gasp for air and want to scream, want to get that persons attention and tell him about the deep shithole I’m in.

"Ichigo!" I can hear a voice through the fog in my senses. A well known voice. I moan and blink in the attempt to recognize the person above me.

There is a lot of red in that white. Not a blood red. More like… scarlet. Red like… "Renji." I try to say but don’t know if I managed.

He’s squeezing my shoulders.

"I’ve to get away." I try to tell him and still don’t know if my voice (or my thoughts?) reach him.

Exhausted my head sinks back into the pillow beneath me and opposite of what I want I sink back into unconsciousness a moment later.

When I wake up the next time it’s nearly as if nothing Soul Society-like happened at all. I feel good, close to euphoric. No pain. No breathlessness, no dizziness.

I can see everything, hear everything.

I have to make sure that I’m not getting crazy or anything - I look down my side, towards my wrist.

It’s bandaged up and put into a splint. Not that calming if you think about it but at least it’s a proof that I didn’t imagine it all.

Nobody is in the small room I’m lying in. My eyes grow big and for a moment my breath stops. I know that room. Dads hospital!

I’m back in the human world? Renji was there, I remember my last awakening well enough.

Carefully I touch my face when it feels a bit numb after I moved too many facial muscles.

I can feel a few band aids on my cheek close to each other. Right, Byakuyas stab with his zanpakuto.

My forehead hurts a bit when I let the fingers of my left hand run over it and my temple. Both seems a bit swollen to me.

Very carefully I sit up but there’s still no dizziness. Instead I can feel a grin spread over my lips from which I don’t really know where it comes from.

I stand up gingerly and walk the few steps to the wall where a mirror hangs.

I blink at my reflection. There’s still a bit of the dark color in my hair, but that’s not what surprises me.

Not even the halfway healed cut on my cheek is reason for worry but half of my forehead, down over my temple and down to my eye is nothing but a bruise (or better said: A whole lot of smaller ones).

With a frown I touch the injury. Why can’t I feel it?

Now I actually do feel dizzy and somewhat nauseous too. I think I better get back into bed.

The high from just now fades into nothingness.

There’s still no pain but I feel like shit.

I just turned around towards the bed when the door behind me opens quietly, so quietly that I nearly overheard it.

"Ichigo!"

A moment later Renji is holding onto me - lucky me, since I would’ve crumpled to the floor any second now.

I can hear foot steps and a second later Dad is glued to my other side and they drag me back to bed carefully.

Dad gets right to his job, lifts my eye lids and presses a stethoscope to my chest.

"We’re back?" I squeeze out and can feel Renjis hand on mine (the left one luckily). "Yes." "What… happened?" I continue to ask and feel more than I can see how Renji sits down next to me.

"I’m… not so sure. All of a sudden I was gone, knockout, completely, and when I got back to my senses you were lying there with that broken wrist and bleeding and unconscious."

I can see him swallow. So he has no idea about my fight with Byakuya.

"I… got myself viewable, grabbed you and got back to the human world. Urahara put you back into your body. Your father was there as well and then everything was going real fast. They patched you up and then we got you here in one of those car-things. You were sleeping ever since, you’ve only been awake once."

"How long ago was that?" "Hmm… One day and-" He throws a glance to the clock on the wall. "around ten hours."

I blink. I feel quite confused. My wrist definitely didn’t heal that fast. As far as I know nobody from the fourth division is in this world right now and Dad can’t heal - well, not the shinigami-way that is.

"Are you in pain?" Dad interrupts our conversation and I shake my head. "No. Not at all." Dad nods and I finally ask the question burning on the tip of my tongue. "Why?" "I had to calm you down with morphine. It’s only a small dose and it shouldn’t last much longer. So get ready for your body to hurt a lot real soon."

I nod, a bit overwhelmed by it all.

"I’m right back." he tells us and leaves, probably knowing that we have to talk about a few things.

I’m asking myself when he is going to be mad at us for going to the Soul Society. Maybe he already got mad at Renji about it, who knows.

I just want to ask him why the hell he slept with Byakuya when he starts to talk first.

"What happened anyways while we had sex? Who attacked you?"

For a moment I’m rather confused and I can only blink at him. We? Sex? I guess I’d remember that.

At the same time my anger at Byakuya grows. Did he - however he managed that - act like he was me? Could Renji actually fall for a cheap trick like that? Didn’t he tell me just a few days earlier that I’d be so completely different from Byakuya?

I shake my head. "We… didn’t have sex." I explain to him in a calm voice and I can see how he frowns. Maybe he thinks if or how bad my head injury caused some amnesia or whatever.

" _You_ had sex. But with Byakuya, not me."

His eyes widen big in disbelief. It looks rather comically if the topic wouldn’t be that serious.

"Impossible." he shakes his head but I interrupt him. "I went to your place and got in. The door wasn’t locked. You had sex with Byakuya and when he saw me he hit you over the head and attacked me. I managed to hit him a few times but all in all he beat me to a pulp. I guess he ran afterwards."

Renji turns real pale but before he can say anything Dad comes back in, a glass of water in his hand and a pill on a small tray in the other.

"Go on, take it and down the water."

A bit heavily I lift my head with Renjis help and do as he says.

"Call for me when you’re feeling worse, I’m in the other room - and don’t you dare try to get up again." He turns towards Renji. "Don’t stay too long, he has to sleep."

Renji promises it and then Dad is gone again.

"So, what happened when you went to Byakuya?" I ask and he swallows.

Then he begins to recount.


	6. Chapter 6

On quiet feet Renji stepped into the building of the sixth division, turning his gaze from left to right and biting his bottom lip repeatedly before he realized what he was doing and stopped.

He was big and had wide shoulders but right now he felt rather small and tried to stand more straight to be a little bigger, a little wider.

The door to Byakuyas (and his own) bureau was open.

He didn’t knock but made sure that he walked loud enough so that he didn’t startle Byakuya too badly and provoked an attack.

Well, the chances that Byakuya attacked him nevertheless were quite high as it was. He just wasn’t able to remember his escape, however often he tried.

He leaned against the frame of the door without saying anything, supporting his lower arm against the wood in a way from which he hoped that it looked cool instead of frightened.

Byakuya did actually see him - it was impossible that it was different - but he hadn’t said anything yet to his sudden show up.

Instead he put down his report in a calmness that was looking for itself before lifting his head. Renji observed him, alert. Did he look angered? Murderous?

For a moment Byakuya watched him thoughtfully and he remembered that the camera wasn’t able to film him like that, not when he was standing in the door.

Should Byakuya attack him now it would be in vain since it wasn’t on tape.

So he got in, dared the flicker of his gaze towards the cleaning utensils in the corner but he wasn’t able to see the camera and he didn’t dare to look again, scared that Byakuya could grow suspicious and check.

He stopped when he was sure that the camera would film him.

"Renji." the Kuchiki started and Renji nodded curtly, bowing carefully. It would be bad to give a reason in front of the camera that would indicate that he provoked Byakuyas actions.

"Since when are you back in the Seireitei?" the dark haired one asked him but Renji didn’t buy his try of small talk. He was quite sure that Byakuya _knew_ since when he was back from the human world. "Long enough." he tried vaguely and then, because he didn’t really have the time to wait for Byakuya to assault him sexually again he asked him: "What did you plan to do with me when you brought me here earlier this week?"

Byakuya sighed but Renji only saw it by the way his chest heaved because no sound escaped his lips. "I don’t know what you are talking about Abarai." he answered and Renji realized the change from his first to his last name immediately.

"You brought me something to drink and then I collapsed. What did you plan with me?" "You are getting paranoid, Abarai." "Am I?" he asked, his voice actually more provoking than he planned it to be.

In a fluent movement Byakuya got up and stepped forward towards him. Renji felt his heart hammer against his chest and held his breath for a moment. His head inched back abruptly and his Adams apple bobbed when he swallowed. He felt a drop of sweat run down the side of his temple torturously slow.

He saw satisfaction in Byakuyas grey eyes but he doubted that the cameras quality was good enough to film that change.

"I can hear your heat beat. You are scared to death - I can see it in your eyes and I can smell it on you - and still you are not even taking one single step back. Still you came here. Why?"

Renji grinded his teeth to keep them from clacking against each other. It was true, he didn’t take one single step back, since he didn’t want to walk out of the cameras angle.

One hand wrapped around his throat, gently, close to lovingly. He didn’t move. Not yet. He had to hold on for a bit longer.

"I can see that you want to run. You want to run and still you are standing there like nailed to the spot. Why?" He walked a few steps around him until he was standing right behind him.

Renji felt pressure on his shoulders and then a kick to the hollow of his knee which gave in afterwards.

He fell hard onto one knee and then the other, Byakuyas hands still on his shoulder. A groan escaped his lips.

They weren’t looking towards the camera but it was pretty obvious what was going on - or at least he hoped so.

The hands on his shoulders moved in front of him, to his throat and pushed his head into his neck. Byakuya was awfully close and he was able to see the satisfaction in the grey eyes again.

A shiver ran down his body. One hand stayed underneath his chin while the other went to his uniform and pulled the collar aside to bare his shoulder.

There was something like _love_ in Byakuyas gaze. A real weird form of it as Renji thought. A touch of awe, the rest compulsive possessiveness.

For a tiny moment his gazed wandered back to the video camera. That should be enough. If he wouldn’t fight him now, high command might think of it as consensual.

His arms, hanging limply by his sides until a moment before, shot up and grabbed Byakuya by the collar of his uniform before he catapulted him over his own head.

His superior landed hard on his back and Renji stumbled to his feet. He could feel a painful pull in his left knee.

Apparently Byakuya already found out long ago what kind of game he was playing. While he was still stumbling towards the camera, an uncountable amount of cherry blossoms flew past him, accurately, without touching him once.

He was able to hear the splintering of metal, plastic and electronic parts when razor sharp cherry blossoms hit the spot where the camera was.

For a moment Renjis heart stopped. In vain. All in vain.

Did Byakuya already knew before he even showed up what was between the cleaning utensils? Did he have fun to screw with him? How far would he have gone if Renji didn’t interrupt him?

A furious scream escaped his lips.

He threw back a glance - Byakuya was already halfway to his feet. He would never be able to defeat him.

Instead he left the bureau, running. He had to find Ichigo! Find Ichigo and get away as fast as possible.

Tears of anger and shame burned in the corners of his eyes but he just swallow them down. That wasn’t really a good moment for an emotional breakdown.

He ran all the way to his place without halting once, ran that way and the other and used another way in the hope to leave Byakuya behind like that, should he still be after him.

He didn’t hear any footsteps behind himself and when he finally reached his barrack he managed to convince himself that Byakuya wasn’t up for crazy chases, that he was too noble for that shit and that he stayed in his bureau and waited for Renji to come back, laughing behind his hand.

He opened his door with so much power that the handle hit the opposite wall and left a little whole in it.

Just as violent he closed the door again and hurried around the corner of the hallway into his room without even taking off his shoes. There was not time for trivialities like that.

Ichigo was already there, standing in front of his dresser and looking around his room inconspicuously.

For a moment Renji was so confused to see Ichigo with dark hair that he was glued to the spot in total silence before a deep sigh left his body.

"You’re here. Good. Good!"

He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "We have to get away. Now! Byakuya… Everything went wrong. We’ve got nothing against him anymore. Shit, I’m so glad that you’re alright."

With this words he stepped closer to the smaller Ichigo and wrapped his arms around him.

"Me too." the other answered short circuited and looked around. "Is he after you?" "I… don’t hope so. I think I lost him somewhere." "Good. Does he know that you are living here?" "I… don’t know." "We should stay here. Just for a little while until we can be sure that we are not running into his arms right away."

Renji let go of Ichigo, doubt in his gaze. "Are you sure? We could go back to the human world right away, that would be better for you too. You have to get back into your body."

"Do not worry, I am fine." A hand lied down onto his shoulder where his kosode was still hanging off his shoulder since he didn’t find the time (or the interest) to get the fabric to its former place.

Renji felt soft finger tips wander over his naked, sweaty skin. "Now?" he asked, perplexed. "Who knows when we will be able to again." Ichigo answered and pressed a kiss to his collar bone.

He swallowed. Ichigo seemed to be well enough. He didn’t knew him to be that dominant - well, not in this way anyways. And - he had to admit - he liked to be dominated - just not by Byakuya because that made him feel uneasy, afraid even.

He swallowed again. The feeling from earlier when Byakuya brought him to his knees by sheer violence was both strange and he himself right in front of a panic attack but at the same time it touched the part of him that liked to be submissive.

Ichigo just managed to reach that point again and before he really knew what was going on he was lying on top of his futon that he didn’t roll up again during his last stay here, kosode open and halfway removed.

At a closer look he might have seen that Ichigos eyes were colder than usually - they always held some kind of emotion, may it be anger, boredom or love - but not now. He would’ve also seen that _Ichigos_ shoulder bag was nowhere to be seen and that the katana leaning against the wall looked a lot more like Senbonzakura than the nameless sword of the human world.

He would have realized that Ichigo talked differently than usual and that he was way more aggressive and dominant than generally.

None of this thoughts made it to his brain though since a moment later the wanna-be Ichigo was on him, pressed him to the ground with his weight and pulled at his clothes while touching every part of him that he was able to reach.

His eye lids fluttered and closed when a hand wrapped around his cock. The movements were too harsh and something in his brain worked but when he opened his eyes again it was the dark haired Ichigo kneeling above him and telling him to close his eyes again and to enjoy it.

Maybe it was the pills, Renji thought. Maybe it was the air in the Soul Society or Ichigo felt his shinigami powers return and all of that made him the way he was now.

To be honest he wasn’t thinking all that much right now because the meeting with Byakuya left him troubled and _Ichigos_ touches were balm to his soul.

He didn’t _want_ to think that Ichigo wasn’t Ichigo and when a penis pressed against his entrance the little rest of his thinking gave in and he was only able to feel.

The red haired wouldn’t have minded a bit more preparation because in the beginning _Ichigos_ thrusts hurt but then he felt lips on his neck and hands on his cock and he was in heaven again.

He felt himself growing closer to orgasm and started to talk like he always did it with Ichigo.

Renji heard a noise, but he had his eyes closed and he was so close, so damn close to orgasm, that nothing and nobody would’ve been able to stop him from moving against _Ichigo_ and to hunt his orgasm.

The unsheathing of a sword was to be heard and a moment later there was nothing at all.


	7. Chapter 7

Renji is silent after he finished his story.

His cheeks are burning. He now seems to realize that he fell for one of Byakuyas tricks.

I can’t be mad at him. Byakuya is quite a scary man. That he confused the both of us… Well, I can live through that (I guess. I - we - don’t have the time to get excited over shit like that now).

Byakuya must have known from somewhere that I changed both my hair color and my sword.

No way would Renji have fallen for an Ichigo with a giant sword and bright orange hair.

I sigh soundlessly, grab for Renjis shirt and pull him down until his head lies on my chest.

Gently I run my fingers through his hair. I know when he is accusing himself. I can see it in his face.

I feel his fingers run over my arm gingerly, the one which hand lies on top of his head.

"I love you." I whisper. "And I’m glad that you’re alright." Renji doesn’t say anything to that. His grip tightens around my hand curtly as he reaches my fingers.

"I think we might need a safe word for when we meet up somewhere." I tell him, only halfway kidding to fight the upcoming serious mood. The morphine in my body does strange things with me. "What do you mean?" he asks me with a quiet voice without looking up at me.

"Well, something like 'Hi, haven’t you seen the green frog?’ and the other one says ’Nope, it was purple.' or something like that."

He snorts but I can see him smile. "Good idea - but we need other greetings. The stuff you are saying right now is total nonsense."

I giggle and Renjis head moves with the vibrations of my chest. "You’re right - but when you are staying right here we can also do that later. Will you stay?" "Of course." he answers quickly, nearly a bit indignant. "Good. Then I’ll sleep a bit." I can feel him nod but my eyelids already sank back down.

Maybe it’s the morphine or the pill that Dad brought me.

One way or another - a moment later I’m fast asleep.

The pain at my next awakening is such a surprise that I think for a moment that I ended up in the wrong movie.

My face is aflame and my wrist thumps painfully with every beat of my heart.

Renji is still with me but isn’t sitting on my bed but on a chair that’s leaned against a wall and reads rather concentrated in… whatever he’s holding in his hand right now.

A groan escapes me and it doesn’t need more until Renji is back at my side and holds my left hand.

"Are you okay?" he asks me and I shake my head vaguely but the movement only worsens the headache I have right now and I have to bite my tongue or I’d be screaming.

"I’m right back." Renji promises and runs out of the room. Only moments later he returns with Dad in his tow.

He throws me a glance before he leaves.

For now I don’t care since Renji is holding my hand now that I nearly squeeze to death until Dad is back and pushes a syringe underneath the skin of my arm and pulls the trigger.

It was that little inside the syringe that I wonder for a moment if it was actually empty but a short time later I can feel the pain fade away.

I take a deep breath before I feel it becoming shallower. Dad seems to be happy enough with it because he only checks my vitals before he leaves again.

I can barely see how tired and exhausted he is before the door closes behind him while Renji stays next to me.

For a few moments I enjoy the sensation of being painless before I ask him with a strained voice: "Is Dad alright?" Renji gazes towards the door as if he could look right through it.

"I guess." he answers then, turned back towards me again, even if gingerly.

"We’re working rather hard here you see?! Your father is talking to Urahara and the Soul Society 24-7." I blink in surprise and frown. Still no pain.

"Why?" "We’re trying to put down Byakuya. I think Shiba-san is on his own warpath against him, he really hates it when someone attacks you."

A thin smile spreads on my lips. I guess that means that I’m somewhat important to him. Not that I didn’t knew that before - but usually he only opens the emotional borders when it comes to Yuzu and Karin.

"How far did you get?" I ask and Renji smiles seriously. "The twelfth division tries to save some video material from our cam. Doesn’t look too good right now but for the fact alone that he fed me drugs - and in the bureau of _high command_ , mind you - he can get into real trouble."

Renji seems to be in a good mood even though the worry about me is still clearly visible. "Apart from that everyone likes you, it’s close to a crime that he attacked you. I don’t think that anyone would’ve minded that much if _I_ would be the only one that got hurt during this whole ordeal."

"You’re underestimating yourself." I smile but Renji only snorts, amused. Then his face turns serious again.

"It could happen that I have to get back to the Soul Society soon. For… a longer time. Should Byakuya actually lose the title as a captain I’m the highest rank of the sixth division - there’s a ton of paperwork." That seems to frustrate him and even though the thought that he has to return makes me sad I smile.

"What do you think will happen to the division?" I ask him. "Who will become the next captain? You?" "Me?" His voice is rather unbelieving. "Nonsense. I don’t even want that, then I would have to stay in the Soul Society all the time."

I didn’t think about _that_. "I just hope that we’ll get a real cool captain and that he sends me onto a ton of missions into the human world."

"Yes or I’ll come to visit." I grin. "We still have Uraharas pills." Renji is silent for a moment, then he shakes his head. "I'm afraid he destroyed them all. Talked about something like that they wouldn’t be safe or whatever." I giggle. "Then he better hurries with inventing new ones."

He snorts, amused.

Then the next hour passes in small talk. And a lot of kissing but I’ll deny that in front of my family forever.

While I’m getting better and better Renji actually does go back to the Soul Society. We say goodbye for many many minutes and he promises to say hi from time to time. By now we actually do have our safe sentences and when he turns into a shinigami I think I can see some sort of wobble in the air where his soul body is standing.

I waved at him gingerly and think that he waved right back before he left.

By now school has started again and I’m mostly learning. From time to time a short letter from Renji ends up in my mailbox but he only writes vaguely - I answer just the more. Sometimes I feel guilty because of it. I guess he’s got better things to do than to read my novels.

My wrist healed completely even though it still feels weird from time to time and heavy things fall out of my hand randomly. Dad says that this would be normal and that time will heal it. We’ll see. I hope so.

I also got out of the whole morphine ordeal without any addictions luckily. I got the syringe a few more times before my body was healed enough that I didn’t need it anymore.

Apparently Byakuya actually did get kicked out but what is actually going on in the Soul Society I don’t know. Renji doesn’t write anything, Dad doesn’t know anything and Urahara won’t tell me (I don’t believe him that he has no idea).

It’s the end of September and I leave the school in the evening. I’m now playing soccer for the school team to get myself some money. I’m lost in thoughts and tired when I run into someone. I’ve already got a sorry on my lips when I can hear a well known laugh and before my brain really realizes what’s going on I wrapped my arms around Renjis muscular body and press my face into his shirt.

"Now that’s what I call a greeting." he mumbles but he sounds touched. "Did ya miss me?" he asks and I nod before letting go of him quickly. "There was a woman in my wardrobe." I say hastily the first part of the watchword we came up with and gaze into his laughing face when he says his part. "I know, she lived there for quite a while."

Satisfied I pull him against me again.

He looks… Healthy. Satisfied. Full of energy. Happy.

He grabs for my hand - my left one, as if he was unsure if the other one is alright, even though I’m sure that I wrote him that my right one healed just fine - and I let him, enjoy his closeness and I really _don’t fucking care_ if anyone from my class or my neighborhood sees me right now.

"How are you?" he asks me and I start to talk about the last few weeks in a sudden urge to talk. He listens patiently and throws in a comment from time to time. "And how’s it going in the Soul Society?" I ask, since I care more about that than the memories of my last few weeks.

He stops, lets go of my hand and stands on attention, chin lifted up high. "Kneel down, mortal one. You’re standing in front of the big Renji, the new captain of the sixth division."

I blink, confused at first before I laugh loudly. "Wow." I squeeze out because even though there was a chance that he became a captain none of us really believed in it.

Well, there aren’t that many people in the Seireitei with a Bankai and I guess the loss of Byakuya must have hurt from a military point of view.

With new awe I look him up and down. Does he look differently?

Well, I guess it's only my imagination that sees the _big Renji_ now. I bow before him and smile when Renji pulls an arm around my shoulders. He wraps another around my hips and wrapped up like that we continue to walk while Renji talks about negotiations and paperwork and endless waiting days.

Then he becomes both serious and very sad at the same time. "I guess that's it with visiting the human world. At the end of the week I’ll become a captain officially and then…" He stops to talk and I stay silent, not as happy as before anymore.

Still, hope remains. I was thinking a lot in this last month about the what ifs. What, if Renji really became a captain? If I really wouldn’t be able to see him anymore? Sure, I’m a human, sooner or later I’ll die and then I’m in the Soul Society but that can be next week or in eighty years - and I sure as hell don’t want to be without him for that long.

"Tell me." I start gingerly. "What’s the specialization of the sixth division?" "Hmm?" he asks, not understanding what I’m talking about. I take a deep breath. "Well, the fourth division is some sort of giant hospital, the twelfth division does all of that stuff with computers and experiments and science and the second is an assassination unit and so on. So, what does the sixth division?"

Renji frowns. "Nothing special as far as I know." A smile moves across my lips. "Well, in my opinion the world could use a division to take care of the human world, to keep it save and stuff. Especially after the thing with Aizen."

Renjis face lightens up but I’m still talking. "Which means, that the leader of such a unit needs a bureau in this world too."

"You’re a genius Ichigo! I’ll make the proposal as soon as I’m the captain officially, you can believe that!" I nod.

The chances are about fifty fifty that they won’t accept that proposal but then we’ll have tried. We can’t let that chance slip!

On this evening Renji is invited for dinner (something that we came up with spontaneously) and then we went to Renjis place and spent the night together (sex first, then a movie and then sex again).

Renji stays a day longer and we check out places for spiritual defense posts and stuff like that how he explains to me after school. He’s already on fire from my idea and tells me that the more facts he got the higher the chance that the proposal is agreed on.

Then Renji went back to the soul world again. One week passes. Another week passes.

In the week after that the mood seems to change, the world itself seems to change. I can feel a cold wind on my skin and the feeling of a fist around my heart.

When Renji picks me up from school he explains to me that at every place is worked at, that Karakura has a few dozen new residents (all shinigami in gigais made by Urahara) and, by the way, they accepted the proposal.

At this evening Renji brings sake and even though I’m actually too young for that stuff and it doesn’t even taste that good it’s like a beginning to me. Like a step into a new world. A world in which Renji spends his time here for at least half a month each month, here with me and where he is one of the thirteen most powerful men (and women) of the military of the soul world at the same time.

Some stories do have a good end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually can't remember, but did I ever mention that this is a three-part story? *ahem*  
> Forget about that. I wrote a fourth and last part in the last few weeks... Coming soon so stay tuned ^^


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